hasteful: (➛ so give me a reason and;)
Buzen "#boyfriendgijinka" Gou【豊前江】 ([personal profile] hasteful) wrote 2023-07-13 05:28 am (UTC)

[ah, well that manages to get him to smile a little bit - gently amused.]

Afraid that's part of having a heart too, Shen-san... I've learned a lot about complicated feelings. But... you don't have to thank me for that. You really do make it easy, you know?

[straightforward, honest people - buzen tries to be that as much as possible. but in the end, he thinks that shenhe succeeds far past him.

eventually, his own memory hits. sorry to make you watch sword musicals.

Heave-ho! Heave-ho! ♪

You’re a traveler, and to these people, that’s all you’ll ever be. You speak with this man who doesn’t need to introduce himself - you know exactly who he is. Ota Dokan, the architect of Edo Castle, which withstood the tests of time and war to remain strong and steadfast into this modern day. You talk to him about all the beautiful things this world has to offer, and feel your heart warm knowing this person exists. He doesn’t ask your name, not that you would give it anyway.

(Not that it would matter. The Buzen Gou is already lost to history.)

You watch him join the men in building his creation, and promise them a grand feast at the end of their labor. It makes laughter spill from your lips before you can even stop it, and when Ame comes to get you, it almost feels too short. You say your farewells, and tuck this serendipitous little meeting into your heart. You hope that you don’t meet again.

Night falls. Days pass.

You meet again.

Your friend is brought to his knees in a fight—and is just barely saved. Monstrous creatures come to his rescue and set him free. As the fighting dies down, it quickly becomes obvious to you as you step on the scene. On this day, Ota Dokan could survive. He could walk out of this battleground, and build so many more grand sights. He could help so many more people. He could enjoy life.

Your blade ends that dream abruptly. You cannot allow that to happen.

Ame—beloved, darling Ame who you treasure so dearly—tries to take on this responsibility from you. But Ame is different from you. Ame has never raised his blade against the very same humans that you’re sworn to protect. So you laugh it off, you tell him not to think about it, even though your inconvenient heart is beating painfully in your chest. Even though you understand a little bit more, why Tsuru-san said ‘you can’t complete missions like this unless you hate yourself’. Maybe you’re starting to learn to hate yourself. No, you can’t let him feel this. You can’t let any of the others feel this, for as long as you’re able.

You should be the only twisted blade that knows what it’s like to cut down the very same people you adore. You should be the only liar. ]

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