I think I've met and gotten along with everyone in this apartment aside from - um. [he's careful as he tests out the name:] Malik-san...? So I believe it's an atmosphere I like a lot!
[talk about being too earnest... he seems to laugh a bit anyway,]
If I'm too earnest, I wonder if that's just the way my soul has been shaped over the past hundred years.
[he was summoned and woke up like this... loud and agreeable]
If you managed to remain like this over hundreds of years, it's quite the feat. I don't know if I could even if I started that way.
[ For all that she does, can, and will endure, she'd think she'd become brittle over that long of a period of time rather than stay any kind of earnest. ]
Would I? Is he someone I have to get through to? That's good to know.
[despite buzen's tendency to charge into things, he does try to be careful about people. though at the idea that he's remained the same over hundreds of years...
his gaze turns a little thoughtful as he looks over at the city lights below the balcony, and then back at roxana]
Well, whatever my history is manages to be more myth than fact. So it's really just guessing, more than anything.
His is a personality that pushes people away more than invites them in.
[ But she sits up a little more at what he says next and looks at him a bit more carefully. She doesn't completely know or understand what Buzen and the other swords, past how they aren't human and are learning what it's like to be human in human bodies.
It's curious. ]
Are you not a reflection of your history? What is fact right now is the you in front of me.
Ah, well that's nothing I haven't seen before. I hope that he's not hurting too badly on his own.
[since.... since buzen normally equates that kind of attitude with some kind of emotional pain. not to mention that he's a teenager! buzen has no idea what to do with teenagers.]
Hmm... I'd say that in general, that's true. We're culminations of our stories, legacies, experiences and struggles. Yasu-san and Kiyo-san especially. [those sweet, sweet okitagumi. he's already sounding fond like they're his own]
Though... I have less of those legacies than the common sword. I have plenty now - in this body - but you could say that historically, my existence is less certain. I'm rather sure that my blade was lost by humans a long time ago.
But you're right that I am here now. Sometimes I wonder what that all means.
[ Roxana also thinks Malik has experienced some trauma for him to develop that kind of attitude, but for now, she wants to focus the conversation on Buzen.
There is something in what he says that strikes some kind of chord with Roxana. She turns her gaze to the city lights. ]
Does it have to mean anything other than the chance to live? You have the chance to make your existence more certain.
For what was once could be myth, it's now reality because you're here. [ She feels as if it's a point she has to reiterate. ] Whatever reason or meaning comes with having a human form, you can find it along the way. There is as much meaning in your present as there is in your history.
[it's a little more complicated. he has now - but it's unclear how long he has it for. that's the thing about being summoned according to someone else's will, and to know that you are an object doomed to break.
but he thinks that's not too strange for a human's existence either.]
I think that if someone remembers you, then you exist.
['I'll rely on you. I won't forget you,' she'd said, perhaps not realizing the entirety of what it meant to him]
[ She did not realize at all the full weight of her words. She realizes a little more now, but it's hard to wholly understand when she's always been human. ]
You're doing a fine job. I meant it when I said I'll remember you.
[ It is perhaps the most sincere thing she's said to him.
Even if she's not sure what effect their stay in the prism will do to their memories, if she has a choice, she won't forget him. ]
It's because if this is who you truly are, I won't want to forget you.
[it's something reassuring and warm to be told that. he laughs, though a sigh intermingles with it along with the easing of his shoulders. at least for now, if he is remembered and thought of, then it is proof enough to him that he exists.
though he can't help but wonder - ]
What do you mean by that, Ro-san?
Even if I'm glad to hear it... I don't think I stand out very much.
['who he truly is' doesn't strike him as anyone particularly memorable, even if he's not unhappy to be told that]
Mm.... I don't know if I get to make a judgment call on that. Or if it has to be something called good or bad. I guess we are pretty different but...
[he doesn't think she should have to change if she doesn't want to. he frowns a little as he thinks about it, like he's trying to come to a conclusion but...]
Are you not happy with your family? Or are you just really used to the way that they do things?
and apparently it's not information enough as his last two braincells rattle around in a sort of confused circle. one hand steadies himself on the balcony because this is the ninth floor and he at least recognizes that he may be in need of some stability in case she decides to shove him off.
but the fingers on his other hand slip around her wrist under his chin - loose, definitely not enough to keep her in place if she wanted to pull away, but almost to make some kind of connection]
But is that who you want to be? I won't look away, if the answer is yes. Or even if it's no. To be honest, I don't even think my opinion matters that much, and you don't owe me anything.
I just think you're different from me, and can be more than what you think you were made for. If that was something you wanted.
[if she wanted something more than to serve her family? it's a strange thing, to be told that she wants to remember someone as head empty and agreeable as him, while at the same time insisting that she is solidly among her apparently disagreeable family.
ultimately, he just thinks it'd be nice if she was happy.]
[ For a second, her eyes flash, and it looks like she wants to grab a Lisa Frank knife and cut his hand clean off, but she curls her fingers closed around nothing. She doesn't pull her hand away, and she doesn't take a step back.
There is something uncomfortable in his words, but she won't flinch away from him. ]
You're right. I don't owe you anything.
[ Much less an answer to his questions. He will have to use his two braincells to put it all together or try to work his way through the layers of her trust. ]
I am on the road of my own choosing.
[ Ultimately, her happiness has never been a priority. ]
but buzen will nod at that - understanding. he had a feeling that he wouldn't actually get any answers but... well, he doesn't exactly mind either. in the end, he's just curious and confused.
his fingers fall away from her hand and the first thing he says is - ] I'm sorry, if I was too forward and made you uncomfortable. I don't mean to push you.
[given the way that her eyes flashed. she could've sliced him and he would've said it was fair, probably.]
Everyone has something that they might not like talking about. I just want you to know that I hope that your choices lead you to victory, whatever that looks like.
And if there is ever a time you might want support on the journey, my arms will always be open.
[ if she stabs him, will she get voted for? :thinking:
She draws back a few steps, and by the time she stands still, she's as composed as she usually is. She smiles at him like she didn't just thinking about stabbing him. ]
Thank you, Buzen. Please rest assured, that if - when we leave, my victory will be assured.
[ She also thinks, even if he was forged for battle or to protect, there really isn't any reason he should wish for that for her, no matter what kind of person she wants or chooses to be. ]
And I will continue to rely on you while we're here.
[no she won't roxana for endgame (taps the post title)]
Then I hope the news of your legacy reaches me, whenever and wherever I am. I'd like to hear about it. I think that'd be good news.
[it's hard to say whether or not buzen has any self-preservation, or if he's truly just so used to being threatened in danger that this whole little brush doesn't seem to bother him in the slightest.
he'll hop up from his seat at the balcony]
I won't overstay my welcome though, if I've interrupted your relaxation time. Shall I go?
[even if she's composed now, he doesn't want to make her feel like she has to forcefully suppress any homicidal urges! that'd probably feel kinda itchy]
[ Honestly, it's good for Roxana that he just took all of that in stride and still seems like he wants to support her even if he doesn't fully know what that means.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ This mean girls club who care about getting more clothes than most other things. ]
You'd fit in most places, but you're almost too earnest. It's not a bad thing.
no subject
[talk about being too earnest... he seems to laugh a bit anyway,]
If I'm too earnest, I wonder if that's just the way my soul has been shaped over the past hundred years.
[he was summoned and woke up like this... loud and agreeable]
no subject
[ For all that she does, can, and will endure, she'd think she'd become brittle over that long of a period of time rather than stay any kind of earnest. ]
You'd get through to Malik eventually.
no subject
[despite buzen's tendency to charge into things, he does try to be careful about people. though at the idea that he's remained the same over hundreds of years...
his gaze turns a little thoughtful as he looks over at the city lights below the balcony, and then back at roxana]
Well, whatever my history is manages to be more myth than fact. So it's really just guessing, more than anything.
no subject
[ But she sits up a little more at what he says next and looks at him a bit more carefully. She doesn't completely know or understand what Buzen and the other swords, past how they aren't human and are learning what it's like to be human in human bodies.
It's curious. ]
Are you not a reflection of your history? What is fact right now is the you in front of me.
no subject
[since.... since buzen normally equates that kind of attitude with some kind of emotional pain. not to mention that he's a teenager! buzen has no idea what to do with teenagers.]
Hmm... I'd say that in general, that's true. We're culminations of our stories, legacies, experiences and struggles. Yasu-san and Kiyo-san especially. [those sweet, sweet okitagumi. he's already sounding fond like they're his own]
Though... I have less of those legacies than the common sword. I have plenty now - in this body - but you could say that historically, my existence is less certain. I'm rather sure that my blade was lost by humans a long time ago.
But you're right that I am here now. Sometimes I wonder what that all means.
no subject
There is something in what he says that strikes some kind of chord with Roxana. She turns her gaze to the city lights. ]
Does it have to mean anything other than the chance to live? You have the chance to make your existence more certain.
For what was once could be myth, it's now reality because you're here. [ She feels as if it's a point she has to reiterate. ] Whatever reason or meaning comes with having a human form, you can find it along the way. There is as much meaning in your present as there is in your history.
[ However tenuous that history is. ]
no subject
[it's a little more complicated. he has now - but it's unclear how long he has it for. that's the thing about being summoned according to someone else's will, and to know that you are an object doomed to break.
but he thinks that's not too strange for a human's existence either.]
I think that if someone remembers you, then you exist.
['I'll rely on you. I won't forget you,' she'd said, perhaps not realizing the entirety of what it meant to him]
So I'll try to leave more to remember me by.
no subject
You're doing a fine job. I meant it when I said I'll remember you.
[ It is perhaps the most sincere thing she's said to him.
Even if she's not sure what effect their stay in the prism will do to their memories, if she has a choice, she won't forget him. ]
It's because if this is who you truly are, I won't want to forget you.
no subject
though he can't help but wonder - ]
What do you mean by that, Ro-san?
Even if I'm glad to hear it... I don't think I stand out very much.
['who he truly is' doesn't strike him as anyone particularly memorable, even if he's not unhappy to be told that]
no subject
What stands out to each person is different. You'd be a circle among the triangles and squares of my family.
[ There are more people like that here than she'd thought. It's strange, in a way.
She smiles a little. ]
You can decide if you think that's good or bad.
no subject
[he doesn't think she should have to change if she doesn't want to. he frowns a little as he thinks about it, like he's trying to come to a conclusion but...]
Are you not happy with your family? Or are you just really used to the way that they do things?
[even if that includes murder and lies]
no subject
That's a funny question, Buzen.
[ Amusement glitters in her eyes, and she places a finger under his chin. ]
You can try to make the judgment for that, too. Right or not.
no subject
no subject
I feel like I need more information before I can do that, Ro-san...
Would you even confirm anything if I were to make a guess?
no subject
Her expression is a little evil. It's dark with her intent and thoughts, and her smile is not kind. ]
I am without a doubt a daughter of my family. My accomplishments have been acknowledged, and my father trusts me.
[ Is that information enough? ]
no subject
and apparently it's not information enough as his last two braincells rattle around in a sort of confused circle. one hand steadies himself on the balcony because this is the ninth floor and he at least recognizes that he may be in need of some stability in case she decides to shove him off.
but the fingers on his other hand slip around her wrist under his chin - loose, definitely not enough to keep her in place if she wanted to pull away, but almost to make some kind of connection]
But is that who you want to be? I won't look away, if the answer is yes. Or even if it's no. To be honest, I don't even think my opinion matters that much, and you don't owe me anything.
I just think you're different from me, and can be more than what you think you were made for. If that was something you wanted.
[if she wanted something more than to serve her family? it's a strange thing, to be told that she wants to remember someone as head empty and agreeable as him, while at the same time insisting that she is solidly among her apparently disagreeable family.
ultimately, he just thinks it'd be nice if she was happy.]
no subject
There is something uncomfortable in his words, but she won't flinch away from him. ]
You're right. I don't owe you anything.
[ Much less an answer to his questions. He will have to use his two braincells to put it all together or try to work his way through the layers of her trust. ]
I am on the road of my own choosing.
[ Ultimately, her happiness has never been a priority. ]
no subject
but buzen will nod at that - understanding. he had a feeling that he wouldn't actually get any answers but... well, he doesn't exactly mind either. in the end, he's just curious and confused.
his fingers fall away from her hand and the first thing he says is - ] I'm sorry, if I was too forward and made you uncomfortable. I don't mean to push you.
[given the way that her eyes flashed. she could've sliced him and he would've said it was fair, probably.]
Everyone has something that they might not like talking about. I just want you to know that I hope that your choices lead you to victory, whatever that looks like.
And if there is ever a time you might want support on the journey, my arms will always be open.
no subject
She draws back a few steps, and by the time she stands still, she's as composed as she usually is. She smiles at him like she didn't just thinking about stabbing him. ]
Thank you, Buzen. Please rest assured, that if - when we leave, my victory will be assured.
[ She also thinks, even if he was forged for battle or to protect, there really isn't any reason he should wish for that for her, no matter what kind of person she wants or chooses to be. ]
And I will continue to rely on you while we're here.
no subject
Then I hope the news of your legacy reaches me, whenever and wherever I am. I'd like to hear about it. I think that'd be good news.
[it's hard to say whether or not buzen has any self-preservation, or if he's truly just so used to being threatened in danger that this whole little brush doesn't seem to bother him in the slightest.
he'll hop up from his seat at the balcony]
I won't overstay my welcome though, if I've interrupted your relaxation time. Shall I go?
[even if she's composed now, he doesn't want to make her feel like she has to forcefully suppress any homicidal urges! that'd probably feel kinda itchy]
no subject
Her smile is almost fond. ]
Have a good time visiting the others, Buzen.