What would you have done, if I were the one who killed Meteion? What if I had gone after Itsuki instead of Garou? What if I asked you to take those two lives?
If you hurt people important to me, my gut instinct would be to get angry. I probably wouldn't be able to let go of that feeling for a little while. But I'd still want to know why you did it, because you're also important to me.
And if you asked me to hurt anyone important to me, I'd still ask why. It wouldn't be the first time I've raised a blade to hurt someone I care about on a personal level. Sometimes it's necessary for the mission. It's what I did right before I arrived here.
I don't think any of those actions would exist without reason. That's why I trust you.
[ She's silent for a while. She sets her tea down. ]
Enough of what I do is self-serving. I would choose myself over anyone here. Those are choices I could make.
[ She looks somewhere behind Buzen before she looks straight at him. ]
I encouraged my oldest brother Fontaine to rebel against my father. I informed my father about my brother's revolt, and once my father puts that down, I am turning against him. I will make it so the household thinks my other brother Deon is behind it all once we succeed.
[ Why does she think she has to keep being dishonest? It's because she's dishonest. ]
but buzen listens, straightens up a little at the talk of revolt and rebellion because it awakens some old instincts, but otherwise doesn't seem surprised. roxana's said a little bit about her family. she liked one brother out of many, and her relationship with her father sounds tense. they're not really any men that buzen thinks he'd personally miss.]
[ . . . he hums thoughtfully to himself, but he finds himself coughing up a petal? it confuses him for a second before he moves to drop it off to the side.]
Ah, so it really is... [well, he shakes his head and offers up a smile]
... I hope you get to travel. If you can cross whole words, come visit. I'll take you to a quiet sea.
Kiyo-san would want to see you again too, I'm sure.
[he looks thoughtful for a moment before smiling - though it's tinged with something a little sad]
... what you said reminded me of someone, I guess. Someone I admired and wanted to take to see the ocean, but I wasn't able to before they died. [there's another tickle at the back of his throat, he clears it before saying - ] Before I killed them.
[the feeling disappears]
So I hope you travel. I hope we get to meet again. Your world isn't mine, so I can say that freely...
[unlike other people who come from japan, and worse still even a modern japan like chinatsu where buzen has no idea how freely he can speak of his mission]
I hope your history becomes whatever you want it to be, and your sights are beautiful and peaceful. I'll join you if I can, when I can.
[ She's silent for a moment before she coughs up a petal. She drops it on the ground before she finally reaches for his hand.
She can't quite tell him that she has already rewritten part of her world's history, but she appreciates the juxtaposition from what little she knows of his duties. ]
Thank you. [ Genuinely, she values everything he tells her even if it makes her try to keep petals down. ] For everything you've shared with me and for all your wishes. I know you aren't the kind to, but prioritize yourself when you can, too.
If you believe in me, you'll know my history will go exactly as I want it.
he'll take her hand, automatically, but he also watches that petal a little pointedly before looking back to her.]
... I don't know about prioritizing myself, but I'm trying to get better about saying what it is that I want. But just because I want something doesn't mean that anyone has to give it to me.
[like his ANSWERS, roxana. his smile turns a little teasing then.]
But I do believe in you. That's never been in question.
[ She smiles at him. It's hard to hide a petal or five. He knows what she's like now. Sometimes, people say things that make you feel a little uncomfortable, and you don't like that. At least she isn't averting her gaze. ]
You're cheeky today.
[ She doesn't seem mad about it. ]
I'll be satisfied hearing your wishes, then. Weapons, tools, or children.... there are many things we aren't afforded even if we are lucky enough to be born to wealth.
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no subject
What would you have done, if I were the one who killed Meteion? What if I had gone after Itsuki instead of Garou? What if I asked you to take those two lives?
[ She takes a drink of tea. ]
no subject
If you hurt people important to me, my gut instinct would be to get angry. I probably wouldn't be able to let go of that feeling for a little while. But I'd still want to know why you did it, because you're also important to me.
And if you asked me to hurt anyone important to me, I'd still ask why. It wouldn't be the first time I've raised a blade to hurt someone I care about on a personal level. Sometimes it's necessary for the mission. It's what I did right before I arrived here.
I don't think any of those actions would exist without reason. That's why I trust you.
no subject
Enough of what I do is self-serving. I would choose myself over anyone here. Those are choices I could make.
[ She looks somewhere behind Buzen before she looks straight at him. ]
I encouraged my oldest brother Fontaine to rebel against my father. I informed my father about my brother's revolt, and once my father puts that down, I am turning against him. I will make it so the household thinks my other brother Deon is behind it all once we succeed.
[ Why does she think she has to keep being dishonest? It's because she's dishonest. ]
no subject
but buzen listens, straightens up a little at the talk of revolt and rebellion because it awakens some old instincts, but otherwise doesn't seem surprised. roxana's said a little bit about her family. she liked one brother out of many, and her relationship with her father sounds tense. they're not really any men that buzen thinks he'd personally miss.]
Will you be free, once your father falls?
Is that how you're choosing yourself?
no subject
[ To both. ]
no subject
Then I'll hope for your victory. If I can, I'll ask Aruji if I can use my free time between missions to be sent to you, if you need me.
[ . . . ]
Thank you for telling me, Ro-san. But I don't change my mind at all.
no subject
You don't have to trouble yourself that far. It'll be all right. I'm almost untouchable at home.
[ Figuratively and literally. ]
I am bringing ruin to my family.
no subject
[tilting his head]
And then what do you want to do after?
no subject
I'll have to see how all the pieces settle first.
no subject
You're chasing after your freedom without knowing what you'll do with it?
Mm... In an ideal situation then, where everything settles the way you want, what'll you do?
no subject
[ The present takes a bit more of her mindspace than the future, and now she's dead? ]
I'll travel. I didn't have much opportunity to go where I please before.
no subject
Ah, so it really is... [well, he shakes his head and offers up a smile]
... I hope you get to travel. If you can cross whole words, come visit. I'll take you to a quiet sea.
Kiyo-san would want to see you again too, I'm sure.
no subject
Is everything all right, Buzen?
[ Maybe it's hypocritical of her to ask, but she's never cared about being a hypocrite. ]
This is the first time I've crossed worlds. I can't promise anything, but... I would like to see you two again, if I can.
[ She just doesn't think she can. It's not like she knows how she came to the Prism. ]
no subject
... what you said reminded me of someone, I guess. Someone I admired and wanted to take to see the ocean, but I wasn't able to before they died. [there's another tickle at the back of his throat, he clears it before saying - ] Before I killed them.
[the feeling disappears]
So I hope you travel. I hope we get to meet again. Your world isn't mine, so I can say that freely...
[unlike other people who come from japan, and worse still even a modern japan like chinatsu where buzen has no idea how freely he can speak of his mission]
I hope your history becomes whatever you want it to be, and your sights are beautiful and peaceful. I'll join you if I can, when I can.
no subject
She can't quite tell him that she has already rewritten part of her world's history, but she appreciates the juxtaposition from what little she knows of his duties. ]
Thank you. [ Genuinely, she values everything he tells her even if it makes her try to keep petals down. ] For everything you've shared with me and for all your wishes. I know you aren't the kind to, but prioritize yourself when you can, too.
If you believe in me, you'll know my history will go exactly as I want it.
[ And not like how it went here in the Prism. ]
no subject
he'll take her hand, automatically, but he also watches that petal a little pointedly before looking back to her.]
... I don't know about prioritizing myself, but I'm trying to get better about saying what it is that I want. But just because I want something doesn't mean that anyone has to give it to me.
[like his ANSWERS, roxana. his smile turns a little teasing then.]
But I do believe in you. That's never been in question.
no subject
You're cheeky today.
[ She doesn't seem mad about it. ]
I'll be satisfied hearing your wishes, then. Weapons, tools, or children.... there are many things we aren't afforded even if we are lucky enough to be born to wealth.