[ah... he wonders if he feels a little closer to the truth now? but he'll just settle for letting his hand reach out for hers, palm up.]
I've chosen you, Ro-san - but I guess I never really explained why.
It's not just because you're smart or powerful, even though I think those are important parts to being you. But it's because you were the first to ask me what I want, and what I could wish for. You told me that wanting to exist is enough, and that I could be more than my history - or lack thereof. I think you are kind... or at the very least, affirming of people's right to be who they are.
... and it's because I know that you intend to walk straight into hell for the sake of your own survival. I'm not chasing after you dreaming of peace. I know that there will be blood. I don't just expect you to put me to use - I hope you will. Not because I want to hurt anyone, but because I'd like you to have someone to believe in outside of your own power.
So if you believe in me... that makes me happy. [he smiles a little] Even if it sets you a little at ease, or feels strange. I can't say sorry, though.
If I can be selfish about this - I want you to believe me even more.
[ She's about to swallow a whole flower. She almost wants to cough up blood for once. She takes a breath. Her survival instincts are kicking into gear, and this means while she isn't suppressing her emotions (because she isn't really sure what she's feeling), her face goes a little blank as she sorts through this. ]
There is little peace to be had with me, blood or no blood.
[ It takes a moment, but she puts her hand in his. ]
I wonder who the bigger fool is between us. You, for choosing me, or me, for accepting your words.
[ And even if her voice sound a bit foreign to her own ears in this moment, she does believe him. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
... you're still lying.
And I think it's starting to be a little irritating... Are you doing that on purpose? Are you trying to find my limit...?
[that's what itsuki was trying to do with him, apparently. is it like that????]
no subject
It has nothing to do with your limits. I'm not trying to push you like that.
[ Not right now, anyway. ]
no subject
... I don't really understand this conversation.... Maybe I really do need to try to think more...
[he shakes his head though - like that'll be enough to clear his head]
Ro-san, I have a question. Are you honest about what you need and want from me?
no subject
no subject
[and that seems to settle him a bit. she's right that it's ingrained in buzen to try to meet other's needs before his own. roxana's especially, now.]
You're my master. I want to serve you, and protect you. It's easiest for me if I understand what you want from me.
[ . . . ]
If you lie to me, I'll be frustrated. If you hide something from me, I'll wish that you didn't. But I know you don't need me to accomplish your goals.
It doesn't change that I want to know everything about you, both fact and fiction. What's easy to accept, and what feels nearly impossible.
I told you that weeks ago... and I'm just as certain now.
no subject
You do make me believe you.
[ Her voice is so soft. It makes her feel a little uncomfortable, to think that Buzen probably could accept her at her worst or at any other point. ]
And that's something that's a little hard to accept and a little impossible.
no subject
I've chosen you, Ro-san - but I guess I never really explained why.
It's not just because you're smart or powerful, even though I think those are important parts to being you. But it's because you were the first to ask me what I want, and what I could wish for. You told me that wanting to exist is enough, and that I could be more than my history - or lack thereof. I think you are kind... or at the very least, affirming of people's right to be who they are.
... and it's because I know that you intend to walk straight into hell for the sake of your own survival. I'm not chasing after you dreaming of peace. I know that there will be blood. I don't just expect you to put me to use - I hope you will. Not because I want to hurt anyone, but because I'd like you to have someone to believe in outside of your own power.
So if you believe in me... that makes me happy. [he smiles a little] Even if it sets you a little at ease, or feels strange. I can't say sorry, though.
If I can be selfish about this - I want you to believe me even more.
no subject
There is little peace to be had with me, blood or no blood.
[ It takes a moment, but she puts her hand in his. ]
I wonder who the bigger fool is between us. You, for choosing me, or me, for accepting your words.
[ And even if her voice sound a bit foreign to her own ears in this moment, she does believe him. ]
no subject
I don't really know what the definition of being a fool is anymore, Ro-san. I think those are pretty good choices to make...?
At the very least, I'd like them to not leave either of us with regrets. I don't think I'll have any.
no subject
[ She thinks she's a terrible choice in every way, but she can't hate being chosen.
Dying has been a regret, and there is no comfort in it, but at least they can still move forward in some fashion. ]
I don't make choices I regret, so at least, on that we agree.