[nodding along with that, and immediately moving to walk again. he'll swing their hands between them in a constant little motion.
the Murderous Energy is accepted with ease because shenhe has been assigned similar to sword (and buzen wouldn't care in general)]
Mm.
Then I guess I can explain - maybe it's not as long as I thought... It's just that every now and then, I can lose sight of where I am and what's around me. It's pretty confusing - and I'm already confused a lot.
But it's like things get dark... or hard to really - make sense of? Like losing sight of what's real or not... I guess.
[he pauses, trying to figure out where to start in his explanation.]
I have trouble with reality because it's unclear if I actually exist. The Buzen Gou is a historical artifact, because it's a work of Gou no Yoshihiro. But... no one knows where it is, and records of it are lost after a while. No one's ever even seen it - because I'm too fast, you know - but also because there isn't even a diagram.
Maybe I could be found, somewhere - but eight hundred years is a long time to wait.
[and he squeezes her hand one more time - almost unconsciously. almost like he's just holding onto a tether that acknowledges his place on this plane.]
[she listens closely to this, watching him with a focused expression.
and when he squeezes her hand, she twines their fingers together and squeezes back. she has her own share of issues, but she is always sure she exists, and if she can be a string that keeps him here, she'd like to be.]
But if someone did find you, that would happen less, yes? [...] It'd be like patching a hole in a roof.
[the metaphor gets him to laugh - and it's not that his mood has been brought down by explaining all this, but a little spark of joy does manage to squeeze through. he smiles at her, amused.]
It wouldn't happen at all, probably. If I was found - if I really exist - then... yeah, it'd be nice to be all here, all the time.
But I mean... I'll manage, one way or another. I've decided that - well, as long as someone remembers you, you exist. And you already said you'd remember me, right?
Yes. I will. [she says, firmly. because that matters. because remembering the people who have been kind to her is important, and because that's how she keeps them alive.
a pause.] I will remember you as long as I am able.
[because she doesn't know if she'll be erased or not, but.]
[ . . . his expression softens at that, touched. he'll bump shoulders with her - and then lean lightly against her. another anchor, another reminder of exactly how he's still here.]
... me too. I'll carry you with me, wherever I go.
Then we'll both be able to leave our mark, right? On each other - and on whatever world we find ourselves in.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Any topic is fine, as long as we walk.
[she has Murderous Energy in her and she'd like to get it out of her system. she'll take his hand, at least.]
no subject
the Murderous Energy is accepted with ease because shenhe has been assigned similar to sword (and buzen wouldn't care in general)]
Mm.
Then I guess I can explain - maybe it's not as long as I thought... It's just that every now and then, I can lose sight of where I am and what's around me. It's pretty confusing - and I'm already confused a lot.
But it's like things get dark... or hard to really - make sense of? Like losing sight of what's real or not... I guess.
no subject
... You have trouble with reality. [huh.] I see. Is this something that can be fixed?
no subject
I don't know. Maybe, but only if...
[he pauses, trying to figure out where to start in his explanation.]
I have trouble with reality because it's unclear if I actually exist. The Buzen Gou is a historical artifact, because it's a work of Gou no Yoshihiro. But... no one knows where it is, and records of it are lost after a while. No one's ever even seen it - because I'm too fast, you know - but also because there isn't even a diagram.
Maybe I could be found, somewhere - but eight hundred years is a long time to wait.
[and he squeezes her hand one more time - almost unconsciously. almost like he's just holding onto a tether that acknowledges his place on this plane.]
no subject
and when he squeezes her hand, she twines their fingers together and squeezes back. she has her own share of issues, but she is always sure she exists, and if she can be a string that keeps him here, she'd like to be.]
But if someone did find you, that would happen less, yes? [...] It'd be like patching a hole in a roof.
no subject
It wouldn't happen at all, probably. If I was found - if I really exist - then... yeah, it'd be nice to be all here, all the time.
But I mean... I'll manage, one way or another. I've decided that - well, as long as someone remembers you, you exist. And you already said you'd remember me, right?
So that's already something to me.
no subject
a pause.] I will remember you as long as I am able.
[because she doesn't know if she'll be erased or not, but.]
no subject
... me too. I'll carry you with me, wherever I go.
Then we'll both be able to leave our mark, right? On each other - and on whatever world we find ourselves in.
[proof that they were once there.]