assigns libby protag of atlas six

[hasteful]

Comments

[hasteful]

Only briefly - when we first got here. He's a swordsman, so I recognized the type of person he was a little.

[and it was a type of person buzen liked!]

But... yeah. I wish they didn't, but they must have a really strong wish to get back.

[medeian]

...You make it sound like that excuses it somehow.

[hasteful]

[he tilts his head at that, slowing down to think about his words]

Mm... Excuse? To me, not really. Killing is killing. You have to be prepared to carry the weight of what you did.

But some people are going to think it's worth it.

[medeian]

...I guess I'm just not as calm about it as you are.

[hasteful]

[he looks surprised for a moment before shaking his head more firmly]

You shouldn't be. I don't want you to be.

I don't— [he pauses, trying to find the words] ... I don't want anyone to be as used to death as I am.

[sometimes you're well aware your coping mechanisms are pretty bad]

[medeian]

[after a moment, nodding:]

It would make sense if you've seen it a lot, I guess.

[hasteful]

... yeah.

[a little more softly, like he doesn't want to admit it, but it's also hard to deny, right?]

A blade can be used to protect and save - but the method is still violent. I can't shy away from that. And in the end, for most of my existence, who and what I cut wasn't a choice I got to make.

But I don't want to sound callous about death. I don't mean to make it sound like I don't care... I'm sorry if I did.

[medeian]

...That sounds horrible.

[pausing]

Not you, but just - the idea that you had a choice that monumental taken away from you, time and time again.

[hasteful]

[ah... he rubs the back of his neck at that]

Well, it's what I was made for. No one wants a dull blade that is choosy about what it cuts.

[medeian]

Yeah, but... Just because that's the way it happened doesn't mean that's the way it should have happened.

[hasteful]

[a thoughtful look passes through his expression for a moment before he just hums faintly]

Maybe. But I don't blame anyone... Humans don't often think about their objects that deeply - it's just about how we can serve them, and I don't mind that either.

[but he'll reach out to hold onto her hand, partially because it's touch week and mostly because it's buzen.]

But thanks. For caring about me.

[medeian]

Has anyone ever used you knowing that you have consciousness...?

[handholding achieved once more]

You don't have to thank anyone for that, you know.

[hasteful]

No - there's never been a way to communicate that. And... sometimes, it just feels nice to feel like you're being used instead of forgotten. It's a complicated feeling.

[but he just laughs faintly]

I think I do. It's never for sure, especially given who and what I am.

[medeian]

...Both of those options sound painful, though.

[biting her lip]

[hasteful]

Does it? Mm...

[ . . . he looks contemplative at that, as if he'd never considered it]

It's all I've ever known until recently, I guess.

[medeian]

Then - I hope you get to experience something other than those two extremes.

[hasteful]

[he smiles faintly at that]

I do.

Even here, I do. I get to be in this body for just a bit longer, and do what I want, with the people I'd like to be with. And if I choose to protect, then it's my own blade in my own two hands.

So I think that's enough.