Will you say the same after you experience more emotions?
[ She wonders if this is because he's him or if it's because he's a sword, but ultimately, it doesn't change how different he is from her. ]
Perhaps I can be something else, but I have chosen to be what I am. I don't have all your years or have been witness to everything you have, but I've always had this body.
I don't know - that's a hard thing to predict. But... I also don't think anyone really owes me anything.
[so it won't matter if his feelings don't get returned... he'll just vibe comfortably with whatever his heart is doing. he's much less afraid of emotions than other swords, after all.]
... even if there's something you've chosen to be - if there are things you want to unlearn, I think you can do that too.
he'll shift, inclining his head just enough so that he can press the briefest kiss to the top of her head. she could stab him and he'd accept it - but also it feels a little like the right kind of exchange after she kissed his cheek]
Anytime, and anything. [for her.]
I don't think there needs to be a rush - or any need except your own will. [if she's happy being who she is, then he'll support it - if she's not, then he'll believe she has the power to change it] As long as you know whatever colors stain your life, I'd share them with you.
[ —Oh. That stuns her for a second. She isn't sure if she likes the feeling rising in her chest or not, but she closes her eyes and lets the warmth of his words wash over her.
It's a little unsettling even if she knows he says similar things to others. ]
You'd be fine if I stained you with the red of my eyes, you say. The path I walk goes to hell.
Yes. [his answer is quick, but it is not without weight. perhaps it's so easy for him to answer because - ] I have already seen hell.
[shimabara was a lot.
but buzen did not complain. it was his mission, and history. even if his heart ached, he didn't think too much about it because at his side there was someone who was suffering more. there was someone who needed him, so close to breaking in the darkness of their own thoughts.
he doesn't know if roxana is like that. she's powerful and sharp, sometimes so much like a blade that he gets whiplash, but she does not yet seem to be at her snapping point. he'd like it if she never was. still he knows that if there was ever a moment in which the pressure began to err on too much...]
I would want to be at your side, even if it means entering those flames again, because I don't want you to burn alone. I'd share the weight of your sins with you, even if you could hold them on your own.
[he just doesn't want her to.]
And I'd carry you - until we claw our way back out.
[ For someone who doesn't know what romance is, he says some very romantic things.
She won't write off the thirty-seven thousand he led to their deaths in the name of history. Those are numbers that not even she can match, but she still can't help but think of their differences. ]
... I don't mind if you're at my side. I won't mind if that's what you want, but you will have to wait - for anything more. [ To know or share the full weight of her sins, to keep her from fluttering away like a butterfly in the wind. ] I believe you want to be by anyone's side who wants or needs the help. I believe you don't want to leave anyone alone, but—
[ She's not just anyone. ]
You don't know in what way you mean it with me.
[ Since this started by the sheer audacity of asking if she had a crush on him after knowing him for two weeks. ]
It doesn't have to be any particular way, as long as I know what you mean.
[ She sinks into his arms a little more, almost in contrary to her words, almost as if this is as much as she'll allow for now. This is as much as he can carry her. ]
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no subject
[ She wonders if this is because he's him or if it's because he's a sword, but ultimately, it doesn't change how different he is from her. ]
Perhaps I can be something else, but I have chosen to be what I am. I don't have all your years or have been witness to everything you have, but I've always had this body.
no subject
[so it won't matter if his feelings don't get returned... he'll just vibe comfortably with whatever his heart is doing. he's much less afraid of emotions than other swords, after all.]
... even if there's something you've chosen to be - if there are things you want to unlearn, I think you can do that too.
no subject
[ She shakes her head and thinks better of finishing that thought.
His last few words makes her smile in a wistful sort of way. ]
Maybe, someday, but it can't be anytime soon. [ ... ] Thank you.
[ For wanting to believe in her that much. ]
no subject
he'll shift, inclining his head just enough so that he can press the briefest kiss to the top of her head. she could stab him and he'd accept it - but also it feels a little like the right kind of exchange after she kissed his cheek]
Anytime, and anything. [for her.]
I don't think there needs to be a rush - or any need except your own will. [if she's happy being who she is, then he'll support it - if she's not, then he'll believe she has the power to change it] As long as you know whatever colors stain your life, I'd share them with you.
no subject
It's a little unsettling even if she knows he says similar things to others. ]
You'd be fine if I stained you with the red of my eyes, you say. The path I walk goes to hell.
Would you still be fine with that?
no subject
[shimabara was a lot.
but buzen did not complain. it was his mission, and history. even if his heart ached, he didn't think too much about it because at his side there was someone who was suffering more. there was someone who needed him, so close to breaking in the darkness of their own thoughts.
he doesn't know if roxana is like that. she's powerful and sharp, sometimes so much like a blade that he gets whiplash, but she does not yet seem to be at her snapping point. he'd like it if she never was. still he knows that if there was ever a moment in which the pressure began to err on too much...]
I would want to be at your side, even if it means entering those flames again, because I don't want you to burn alone. I'd share the weight of your sins with you, even if you could hold them on your own.
[he just doesn't want her to.]
And I'd carry you - until we claw our way back out.
no subject
She won't write off the thirty-seven thousand he led to their deaths in the name of history. Those are numbers that not even she can match, but she still can't help but think of their differences. ]
... I don't mind if you're at my side. I won't mind if that's what you want, but you will have to wait - for anything more. [ To know or share the full weight of her sins, to keep her from fluttering away like a butterfly in the wind. ] I believe you want to be by anyone's side who wants or needs the help. I believe you don't want to leave anyone alone, but—
[ She's not just anyone. ]
You don't know in what way you mean it with me.
[ Since this started by the sheer audacity of asking if she had a crush on him after knowing him for two weeks. ]
It doesn't have to be any particular way, as long as I know what you mean.
[ She sinks into his arms a little more, almost in contrary to her words, almost as if this is as much as she'll allow for now. This is as much as he can carry her. ]