[THIS IS TERRIBLE BECAUSE MATSUI IS STILL WRAPPED UP IN HIS OWN TRAUMA AND DOESN'T PAUSE TO THINK ABOUT HOW HORRIFIC THIS IS FOR BUZEN "IDENTITY CRISIS" BUZENSON. It'll occur to him later, once he's no longer still afraid that he'll wake up again with Buzen still dead and nowhere within reach.
For now, he jumps a little when he's pulled into the hug, just because he didn't see it coming. But he's quick to raise his hands up, hooking them behind Buzen's back in return.]
Alright.
[That's fine. He doesn't want to think about it, really - about those pieces. He just can't bear to let them go, either. Not after everything.
Can't believe he gets to have cute boyfriend clothes swap except it's not cute at all and they still haven't figured out their emotions yet so really it's just a clothes swap to preserve Matsui's Catholic dignity that doesn't even exist.]
... [FINALLY LOOKING DOWN AT HIMSELF... and touching his own bloody shirt... Can you believe he got so traumatized immediately that he couldn't even be a freak about blood.] Perhaps I can stay like this for a little longer.
[matsui just got back from cyoa he's alright to be wrapped up in his own trauma? buzen will just ignore his own issues anyway. lots to deal with right now.
like this,
but also - ]
... I'd normally let you have whatever you want, but if you don't change here, you have to change at the laundry place and other people might be walking in.
[and he doesn't think matsui is kashuu levels of NO ONE CAN SEE ME NAKED but he also feels like he won't want that either???
also it's not a cute boyfriend clothes swap the top buzen has to lend him is the I ♥ TOCPE one so it's still stupid]
[He doesn't want people to see him naked in public so that much is TRUE. HOWEVER. He just leans back and looks up in the general direction that he estimates Buzen's face to be in.]
[NOT LIKE THIS!!! Buzen can start but Matsui will be leaning back to push him away with his arm that is less mangled.]
...I can do it.
[BECAUSE HE'S SO FUCKIN INJUREDDD HELP. He's literally going to have to peel his clothing off and his left arm and leg look like they were briefly clipped by a tornado filled with knives. Also, the lightning scarring that was visible on his face just extends down the wholeass of his entire body.]
it bothers him more than he thought it would. it's not like he hasn't seen matsui injured? they end up fighting in a lot of battles, after all. but those straightforwards cuts and injuries from finding the revisionists isn't - well, this. while matsui is undressing himself, buzen will have gone to go get the spare outfit from the gift shop.
then he'll sit next to matsui on the couch, putting the clothes off to the side.]
... Matsu, what happened here? [he doesn't even really touch matsui's arm so much as his hand hovers so close that matsui can probably feel the warmth of it.] Your arm...
[Matsui will fold up his extremely bloody and messed up clothes very unnecessarily neatly and set them to the side. The cross remains where it always does, in plain view for a moment before Matsui raises a hand to place over it, like it's a secret between him and whatever god out there clearly keeps abandoning his ass.
When Buzen sits, he turns to face him, like, generally, and looks toward where the feeling of warmth has gathered against his skin. His brow furrows faintly.]
--There are scars?
[FUCKING HEELLLLPPP.]
Ah, but my arm... I was hit by something, but I'm not certain what it was.
How early in did you lose your eyesight...? And what happened to your shoulder...?
[buzen is straight up not asking what happened to his chest hole. he has a feeling, and an even stronger feeling that he will not be getting any answers directly out of matsui for that one,]
The scars are here...
[and he'll just lightly bring up a hand to trace from where they are from matsui's face and then downward, fingers lightly following the lines.... he's really a rough and tumble sword but trying to be gentle with his matsu right now?]
[Reaching up to touch his shoulder where the fuckin gored out hole had once been.]
Boar. [HELP. Buzen's right to assume Matsui wouldn't answer anything related to that, but he can answer the rest of this easily enough.] We fought a god who could summon animals made from water. I don't know what the scarring is from...
[He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling the trail that Buzen traces so gently, brow furrowing as he tries to think of what the heck could have done this. Very funny because the thing that did this happened behind his back so he will never remember because his ass didn't see it.]
[NOT THE FUCKING OCEANID FIGHT. But. Okay. Boar. And water animals. Cool. Cool cool cool.
except Buzen doesn't like any of it! at all! the idea that Matsui's sword was also here rather than with him doesn't help in the slightest. he'll wait to see if an answer comes for the lightning scarring but when one doesn't, he'll just shake his head quietly.]
... alright. I'm going to kiss you.
[because it is an impulse that he has, and he is going to follow it. he'll lean in to press their lips together, gentle and firm in equal measure. from there he leaves a small trail - against where the lightning scars travel on matsui's neck, down to his shoulder, and then lower still to his heart. because he's not healed in other places (yet), buzen won't travel any further than that.
he lets his forehead rest on matsui's uninjured shoulder for a moment and closes his eyes, sighing. his matsui really went through it.]
[BEISHT SAID you better watch out YOU BETTER WATCH OUT YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
Matsui just hums and nods after Buzen states his intentions, expecting the first kiss. The trail surprises him a little as it starts, and he shifts when Buzen's lips rest against his shoulder, like the phantom feeling of the ice or the injury make it a little less pleasant.
The kiss by his heart makes him want to cry again, but he doesn't this time. It feels like he's done enough of that for this lifetime.
When he feels the weight of Buzen against his shoulder, he raises his free hand, gently resting it against the back of his head for a second before stroking his hair. He tilts his own head so he can press his lips to whatever he can reach.]
[another reassurance, and he'll tilt his head automatically to follow matsui's touch like he also wants more of it. he'll wrap his arms around matsui again gingerly, like he's still making up for all the space that came between them earlier when he couldn't be found. buzen breathes him in, and then exhales again.]
And so are you.
[it feels like some of that exhaustion is really settling in now, and buzen finds himself slowing down even though there's still more to do. he has to offer matsui these clothes and help him re-dress, and then get them both to the laundromat to wash.
but for just a few more seconds, he'll stay in place for once, before this place demands more of them.]
Maybe a little against his will, but he has Buzen to hold onto again in the face of the riptide that's always at his heels. Without Buzen, he wanted nothing more than to let go and follow him wherever he'd gone off to. But if Buzen is still here with him... Even if he can't let go of the memories of what happened or simply write it off as fake, he can at least accept that something outside of his comprehension has occurred, and Buzen is back in his arms, whole and "alive".
That's enough for him.
He'll lapse into silence, though, also content to just sit with Buzen here like this. He's TIRED AND TRAUMATIZED AS FUCK and also has lost so much blood so at some point during this peaceful sitting he's going to pass the fuck out help.]
buzen doesn't say it out loud but he's thinking something along the lines of 'so much for not wanting to fall asleep'. regardless, he'll just go to very, very carefully put some clothes on matsui, and then pick him up along with his bloodied clothes to head to the laundromat.
he's just going to bring matsui around with him as he does his chores because he's worried matsui will fucking freak out if he wakes up and is alone]
[HE DOESN'T WANT TO FALL ASLEEEEEP and he would have absolutely freaked the fuck out if he woke up and Buzen wasn't there so this is unfortunately a smart decision. He will probably be waking up at some point near the end of their laundry adventures... Is Buzen just fuckin carrying him around everywhere or did he leave him on a chair somewhere help.]
[buzen is probably sitting on top of a dryer that isn't being used while waiting for their laundry to finish and then matsui's in his lap because he's aware that matsui is
fucking blind
and waking up in a chair while blind even if buzen isn't far away would probably also be scary
he used all his bad boyfriend opportunities yesterday for a motorcycle, he's back on good boyfriend behavior now]
[yea matsui gets to just wear buzen's crop top while buzen is half-nakey at the laundromat
okay]
I told you that you should've slept. [he will just lean down to nuzzle against matsui's cheek. disgusting.] But you don't need to say sorry. I'm glad you got to rest.
Once all the laundry's done, let's head back and nap together if you're still feeling tired.
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For now, he jumps a little when he's pulled into the hug, just because he didn't see it coming. But he's quick to raise his hands up, hooking them behind Buzen's back in return.]
Alright.
[That's fine. He doesn't want to think about it, really - about those pieces. He just can't bear to let them go, either. Not after everything.
Can't believe he gets to have cute boyfriend clothes swap except it's not cute at all and they still haven't figured out their emotions yet so really it's just a clothes swap to preserve Matsui's Catholic dignity that doesn't even exist.]
... [FINALLY LOOKING DOWN AT HIMSELF... and touching his own bloody shirt... Can you believe he got so traumatized immediately that he couldn't even be a freak about blood.] Perhaps I can stay like this for a little longer.
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like this,
but also - ]
... I'd normally let you have whatever you want, but if you don't change here, you have to change at the laundry place and other people might be walking in.
[and he doesn't think matsui is kashuu levels of NO ONE CAN SEE ME NAKED but he also feels like he won't want that either???
also it's not a cute boyfriend clothes swap the top buzen has to lend him is the I ♥ TOCPE one so it's still stupid]
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I don't have to wash the blood out.
[He can just
keep it.]
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Yes, you do.
[tiredly,]
I’m undressing you, Matsu.
[a warning before he literally just goes to start doing that. deeply unsexy]
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Wait--
[NOT LIKE THIS!!! Buzen can start but Matsui will be leaning back to push him away with his arm that is less mangled.]
...I can do it.
[BECAUSE HE'S SO FUCKIN INJUREDDD HELP. He's literally going to have to peel his clothing off and his left arm and leg look like they were briefly clipped by a tornado filled with knives. Also, the lightning scarring that was visible on his face just extends down the wholeass of his entire body.]
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it bothers him more than he thought it would. it's not like he hasn't seen matsui injured? they end up fighting in a lot of battles, after all. but those straightforwards cuts and injuries from finding the revisionists isn't - well, this. while matsui is undressing himself, buzen will have gone to go get the spare outfit from the gift shop.
then he'll sit next to matsui on the couch, putting the clothes off to the side.]
... Matsu, what happened here? [he doesn't even really touch matsui's arm so much as his hand hovers so close that matsui can probably feel the warmth of it.] Your arm...
These scars...
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When Buzen sits, he turns to face him, like, generally, and looks toward where the feeling of warmth has gathered against his skin. His brow furrows faintly.]
--There are scars?
[FUCKING HEELLLLPPP.]
Ah, but my arm... I was hit by something, but I'm not certain what it was.
[HIS EYEBALL NERF.]
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[buzen is straight up not asking what happened to his chest hole. he has a feeling, and an even stronger feeling that he will not be getting any answers directly out of matsui for that one,]
The scars are here...
[and he'll just lightly bring up a hand to trace from where they are from matsui's face and then downward, fingers lightly following the lines.... he's really a rough and tumble sword but trying to be gentle with his matsu right now?]
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[Reaching up to touch his shoulder where the fuckin gored out hole had once been.]
Boar. [HELP. Buzen's right to assume Matsui wouldn't answer anything related to that, but he can answer the rest of this easily enough.] We fought a god who could summon animals made from water. I don't know what the scarring is from...
[He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling the trail that Buzen traces so gently, brow furrowing as he tries to think of what the heck could have done this. Very funny because the thing that did this happened behind his back so he will never remember because his ass didn't see it.]
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except Buzen doesn't like any of it! at all! the idea that Matsui's sword was also here rather than with him doesn't help in the slightest. he'll wait to see if an answer comes for the lightning scarring but when one doesn't, he'll just shake his head quietly.]
... alright. I'm going to kiss you.
[because it is an impulse that he has, and he is going to follow it. he'll lean in to press their lips together, gentle and firm in equal measure. from there he leaves a small trail - against where the lightning scars travel on matsui's neck, down to his shoulder, and then lower still to his heart. because he's not healed in other places (yet), buzen won't travel any further than that.
he lets his forehead rest on matsui's uninjured shoulder for a moment and closes his eyes, sighing. his matsui really went through it.]
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Matsui just hums and nods after Buzen states his intentions, expecting the first kiss. The trail surprises him a little as it starts, and he shifts when Buzen's lips rest against his shoulder, like the phantom feeling of the ice or the injury make it a little less pleasant.
The kiss by his heart makes him want to cry again, but he doesn't this time. It feels like he's done enough of that for this lifetime.
When he feels the weight of Buzen against his shoulder, he raises his free hand, gently resting it against the back of his head for a second before stroking his hair. He tilts his own head so he can press his lips to whatever he can reach.]
...You're here.
[He hasn't woken up a third time yet, so...]
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[another reassurance, and he'll tilt his head automatically to follow matsui's touch like he also wants more of it. he'll wrap his arms around matsui again gingerly, like he's still making up for all the space that came between them earlier when he couldn't be found. buzen breathes him in, and then exhales again.]
And so are you.
[it feels like some of that exhaustion is really settling in now, and buzen finds himself slowing down even though there's still more to do. he has to offer matsui these clothes and help him re-dress, and then get them both to the laundromat to wash.
but for just a few more seconds, he'll stay in place for once, before this place demands more of them.]
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Maybe a little against his will, but he has Buzen to hold onto again in the face of the riptide that's always at his heels. Without Buzen, he wanted nothing more than to let go and follow him wherever he'd gone off to. But if Buzen is still here with him... Even if he can't let go of the memories of what happened or simply write it off as fake, he can at least accept that something outside of his comprehension has occurred, and Buzen is back in his arms, whole and "alive".
That's enough for him.
He'll lapse into silence, though, also content to just sit with Buzen here like this. He's TIRED AND TRAUMATIZED AS FUCK and also has lost so much blood so at some point during this peaceful sitting he's going to pass the fuck out help.]
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buzen doesn't say it out loud but he's thinking something along the lines of 'so much for not wanting to fall asleep'. regardless, he'll just go to very, very carefully put some clothes on matsui, and then pick him up along with his bloodied clothes to head to the laundromat.
he's just going to bring matsui around with him as he does his chores because he's worried matsui will fucking freak out if he wakes up and is alone]
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fucking blind
and waking up in a chair while blind even if buzen isn't far away would probably also be scary
he used all his bad boyfriend opportunities yesterday for a motorcycle, he's back on good boyfriend behavior now]
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Well.
Matsui will come to very groggily as one probably does when they've been tossed into a cuisinart and seasoned gently with trauma.]
Buzen...?
[He can tell from the shape and smell of him that it is, but the ask is reflexive, regardless.]
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[if that'll help reassure him of where he is, coupled with buzen's hand coming up to run through his hair
also he's like half-naked he really had to strip down to his boxers because he gave matsui his only spare outfit this is so funny help HELPPPP]
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He's quiet for a second, looking off at nothing in particular as he focuses on the sounds.]
--We're at the laundromat? [Girl help.] I fell asleep... I'm sorry.
[On the plus side, it was truly more like blacking out so at least he didn't have any nightmares.]
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okay]
I told you that you should've slept. [he will just lean down to nuzzle against matsui's cheek. disgusting.] But you don't need to say sorry. I'm glad you got to rest.
Once all the laundry's done, let's head back and nap together if you're still feeling tired.
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Matsui will unfortunately accept this gesture too easily, reaching out to try touching Buzen's cheek. Sorry if he misses and gently pokes an eye.]
You should rest.
[Because he knows how exhausting using psychs can BE!!! And Buzen has already done too much for him.]
I'll stay with you.
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fucking closes his eye before matsui can jab him in it, it's fine]
When we get back, then.
[ . . . ]
I hope you don't get bored though?
[JUST? BEING BLIND AND SITTING THERE AND TRYING NOT TO FALL ASLEEP? MATSU?]
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I... No. I won't be bored.
[He's just going to stare unseeingly at Buzen's sleeping face like some sort of possessed ghoul from hell.]
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If you’re sure… I’ll probably just take a quick nap.
We should try to see Kaveh-san and Si-san before the night is over, right?
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We should, yes. [He GUESSES... No Kaveh in particular he wants to check in on eventually, now that he's feeling less unhinged.]
Whenever you would like, we can go.
[Because he's not leaving Buzen's side except for the like 6 times he did for pcs]
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