[GAY AFFECTION FEEDBACK LOOP!!!! Matsui really is so protected in that every fuckin inch of him is covered except one single hand and his face, help. At least it isn't quite as bad as usual since he's probably wearing whatever the hell they picked out the day before on their 50 hour Sears shopping trip where they spent 49.8 of those hours just flirting in the polo shirt section.
There's a little spike in that feeling of hungering thrill when Buzen's fingers reach for that topmost button, which largely overwhelms the kneejerk response to reel away from any form of Being Exposed. The necklace under his shirt is a heavy and private thing, after all - but unfortunately, for Buzen, he's willing to bare it.
HE IS ALSO TRULY SO FUCKING WEAK. HIS PAPERTHIN CATHOLICISM IS FLYING AWAY IN THE BREEZE. One hand strokes through Buzen's hair. He's still trying to hold onto the biggest chunk of his self-restraint, but if Buzen gets to touch his neck, then he wants to touch Buzen's, too.]
--May I draw blood again?
[He's really never going to beat the vampire allegations girl help.]
[well - at least buzen gets the hint that he might be going in the right direction with that little spike of feeling. if he keeps chasing those, then does that mean he's giving matsui what he wants? that's the simple logic, at least. and buzen will chase every impulse he has.
matsui will probably feel buzen smile against his skin, as well as the words that he murmurs there, slightly muffled against his neck:] Thanks for asking. You can.
[he'll endure it, if that's what matsui wants. it's less bothersome than trying to summon a nosebleed with sheer willpower at least. though he thinks about his own clothes - he doesn't have the button-up anymore so to get access to more skin he'll just shrug off his jacket before pinching the neck of his shirt and lifting it right off. the energy of a man who'll be the only one to shamelessly complete strip check. he leans in to give matsui another kiss after, like he's worried it's been too long for them to not be attached at the mouth.]
[WELL HE WAS GONNA BITE BUT THEN BUZEN TAKES HIS WHOLEASS SHIRT OFF IN THIS HOUSE OF GOD and Matsui's emotions immediately become flustered as he pulls his hands back like he's spooked about touching this much bare skin.
Unfortunately, beneath the fluster, there is the very strong desire to look and touch anyway. But he will POLITELY AVERT HIS EYES. For a second, because it's not like he hasn't seen Buzen's abs 500 times in quick changes.]
Buzen--! You could have just moved the collar...
[PLEASE STOP MAKING IT HARD FOR HIM TO CONTAIN HIMSELF.]
buzen doesn't understand the fluster or the torn feelings, but he does know they're funny. amusement and the desire to tease both rise horribly in him as he grins.]
I guess I could've - but this is more fun for me?
[he'll go to catch one of matsui's wrists and then bring his hand closer so his hand can fall on buzen's chest? he has truly learned that matsui is bad at asking for what he wants....]
You can touch me, Matsu. I didn't think you'd be shy...?
Also his hands are fucking vampire cold so enjoy the sudden ice cube to the chest.]
I just wasn't expecting it... [It riled his little Catholic larper HEART!! NOT SUDDENLY SHIRTLESS BUZEN. His hand is still for the time being, but he's itching to move it. After a second in which he makes peace with his inner demons, he decides to forsake torso for the time being so he can lean in again and duck his head, hiding a little in the crook of Buzen's neck.
So he can bite again with SWIFT AND VIOLENT VENGEANCE. WHY.]
[he's used to matsui's hands being cold so he's not jumping so much from that buT THE SUDDEN BITE. the way that it stokes something of a fire in buzen's feelings - this sharp and intense affection making him want to hold onto matsui tighter. so he does, wrapping his free arm around his middle to make sure there's no space between them again]
[HE'S THE WORST CATHOLIC EVER!!!! But there's a fresh wash of satisfaction when he punctures skin and draws more blood, and unfortunately, his own affections just get caught up again in this stupid ouroboros they keep making. Love and now horniness. What a time to be a sword.]
Should I have given more of a warning...?
[Very faintly teasing... A PUNK.
He lets himself be pressed so close, leaning his head back only enough so that he can look at the blood. His heart is beating fast, but he's trying to reel himself in a little, emotionally-speaking. He can only allow himself so much greed and so much of this blood especially.]
[but buzen knows he's being teased! there's a new feeling that he wants to know more about! it's the horniness unfortunately! he doesn't mind the trickle of blood so long as it's just a small things and it makes matsui this happy. the general sensation of excitement and adoration are entirely worth it to him.
he'll just turn his head to briefly catch matsui's mouth with his own again, biting at his bottom lip lightly just as buzen's own hand wanders slightly. it slips under the hem of matsui's shirt, fingers just lightly pressing into his hip - buzen's own desire to touch not one that he'll bother to hold back. he's not warning for that either,]
[NOT THE HORNINESS. His Catholic resolve that he was just pretending he had is truly just 2 seconds away from folding completely especially considering they're sliding full speed ahead toward an I wanna touch ouroboros now TOO.
His hand finally moves and he lets his palm lie flat over Buzen's heart for a moment, which makes a little tangle of complex feelings well up, considering the circumstances the last time he'd felt his heartbeat. It's a comfort all the same, though. Then Buzen's hands are at his hip and he's making a soft sound in the back of his throat and thinking "what if Buzen's pants came off too, what then".]
Buzen... [Halting, hesitant. THEY ARE IN A CHURCH.] ...I always want too much of you.
[He's really erasing sweet Kotegiri... POOR SWEET KOTEGIRI WHO'S THE ONLY OTHER GOU IN THE HORNY CORNER WITH HIM...]
I still want more.
[There's a little fleck of apology, for being so greedy. Just a fucking fleck.]
underneath matsui's palm, he'll feel the brisk pace at which buzen's own heart is racing - fast, quick, just how he likes it. the excitement and adoration that he's been taking on from matsui's feelings, and how happy he is to get swept in its tide. his thumb traces small shapes against matsui's skin, happy just to get a chance to touch him and enjoy his reactions. it's satisfying, to know how he can affect matsui too.
it's even better still, to hear him admit it. buzen's mouth curves into a smile and he gives matsui another kiss like a reward.]
Like I said - I'm already yours. You can have all of me if you want, Matsu. However you want.
[he really has no idea what he's saying but his feelings reflect his certainty: so confident in his affection.]
Are you going to make me keep guessing what you'd like? [another brief kiss - ] I don't mind if you do. But that's a lot for me to try.
[does matsui really want to put it in buzen's hands when buzen's goal is to just make him as absurdly happy and content as possible]
[HE REALLY HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE'S SAYING!!!!! BUT MATSUI JUST FEELS FOND AND SOFT ABOUT IT!!!!! Because he knows that Buzen means what he says, and he feels so euphoric every time he realizes how lucky he is to have Buzen's heart like this, even if he doesn't always - rarely, really - feel worthy of it.
Beyond that, he considers his words and what he wants to say in return. What he wants in return, period. That's an easy enough conclusion for him to draw, at least; he wants Buzen close, close, close, so that his body can remember every piece of him in this time they've been afforded.
His hands are cold, but his blood feels too hot. His fingers are soft and careful as he eases them down from Buzen's chest to rest over his navel. The words rest weighted on the tip of his tongue like he's still trying to hold them back for a second, before he lets them tumble out.]
...I want to try loving you like a human.
[He already loves Buzen in every way he ever could, in all ways possible. But with this human body, he wants to experience the sort of closeness and connection that simply doesn't exist between two steel blades.
There is unfortunately no salvaging this. His back is to the altar, god can't shame him now.]
[buzen loves matsui so entirely, in a way that is so all-encompassing. his love is in his patience, his grace, his clear bias and his loyalty in all things. some days he worries that his love is not enough, and yet right now it feels like it will break his heart apart. it feels like it'll overflow.
matsui's hands travel downward and buzen's slide up - both now sliding underneath the cloth of his shirt, finding a home at his waist as the fabric catches on his wrists. he hopes the warmth of his touch is enough. something reverent slips into his feelings - like now that the option is there, he realizes how eager he is to learn every inch of matsui. to feel him under his fingertips, to map out his pulse with his mouth. it's that thought that gets buzen to press a kiss to his neck, and then trail upward.]
Okay. Then let's try. Anything for you, Matsu.
[which is a promise he'll seal with a kiss, and then another, another still - until they can get lost only in sensation and each other.
GOODBYE I'M SORRY GODDDDD fades this shit to black]
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There's a little spike in that feeling of hungering thrill when Buzen's fingers reach for that topmost button, which largely overwhelms the kneejerk response to reel away from any form of Being Exposed. The necklace under his shirt is a heavy and private thing, after all - but unfortunately, for Buzen, he's willing to bare it.
HE IS ALSO TRULY SO FUCKING WEAK. HIS PAPERTHIN CATHOLICISM IS FLYING AWAY IN THE BREEZE. One hand strokes through Buzen's hair. He's still trying to hold onto the biggest chunk of his self-restraint, but if Buzen gets to touch his neck, then he wants to touch Buzen's, too.]
--May I draw blood again?
[He's really never going to beat the vampire allegations girl help.]
no subject
matsui will probably feel buzen smile against his skin, as well as the words that he murmurs there, slightly muffled against his neck:] Thanks for asking. You can.
[he'll endure it, if that's what matsui wants. it's less bothersome than trying to summon a nosebleed with sheer willpower at least. though he thinks about his own clothes - he doesn't have the button-up anymore so to get access to more skin he'll just shrug off his jacket before pinching the neck of his shirt and lifting it right off. the energy of a man who'll be the only one to shamelessly complete strip check. he leans in to give matsui another kiss after, like he's worried it's been too long for them to not be attached at the mouth.]
Go for it.
no subject
Unfortunately, beneath the fluster, there is the very strong desire to look and touch anyway. But he will POLITELY AVERT HIS EYES. For a second, because it's not like he hasn't seen Buzen's abs 500 times in quick changes.]
Buzen--! You could have just moved the collar...
[PLEASE STOP MAKING IT HARD FOR HIM TO CONTAIN HIMSELF.]
no subject
buzen doesn't understand the fluster or the torn feelings, but he does know they're funny. amusement and the desire to tease both rise horribly in him as he grins.]
I guess I could've - but this is more fun for me?
[he'll go to catch one of matsui's wrists and then bring his hand closer so his hand can fall on buzen's chest? he has truly learned that matsui is bad at asking for what he wants....]
You can touch me, Matsu. I didn't think you'd be shy...?
no subject
Also his hands are fucking vampire cold so enjoy the sudden ice cube to the chest.]
I just wasn't expecting it... [It riled his little Catholic larper HEART!! NOT SUDDENLY SHIRTLESS BUZEN. His hand is still for the time being, but he's itching to move it. After a second in which he makes peace with his inner demons, he decides to forsake torso for the time being so he can lean in again and duck his head, hiding a little in the crook of Buzen's neck.
So he can bite again with SWIFT AND VIOLENT VENGEANCE. WHY.]
no subject
Ah—
[he's used to matsui's hands being cold so he's not jumping so much from that buT THE SUDDEN BITE. the way that it stokes something of a fire in buzen's feelings - this sharp and intense affection making him want to hold onto matsui tighter. so he does, wrapping his free arm around his middle to make sure there's no space between them again]
Jeeze, Matsu...
no subject
Should I have given more of a warning...?
[Very faintly teasing... A PUNK.
He lets himself be pressed so close, leaning his head back only enough so that he can look at the blood. His heart is beating fast, but he's trying to reel himself in a little, emotionally-speaking. He can only allow himself so much greed and so much of this blood especially.]
no subject
[but buzen knows he's being teased! there's a new feeling that he wants to know more about! it's the horniness unfortunately! he doesn't mind the trickle of blood so long as it's just a small things and it makes matsui this happy. the general sensation of excitement and adoration are entirely worth it to him.
he'll just turn his head to briefly catch matsui's mouth with his own again, biting at his bottom lip lightly just as buzen's own hand wanders slightly. it slips under the hem of matsui's shirt, fingers just lightly pressing into his hip - buzen's own desire to touch not one that he'll bother to hold back. he's not warning for that either,]
no subject
His hand finally moves and he lets his palm lie flat over Buzen's heart for a moment, which makes a little tangle of complex feelings well up, considering the circumstances the last time he'd felt his heartbeat. It's a comfort all the same, though. Then Buzen's hands are at his hip and he's making a soft sound in the back of his throat and thinking "what if Buzen's pants came off too, what then".]
Buzen... [Halting, hesitant. THEY ARE IN A CHURCH.] ...I always want too much of you.
[He's really erasing sweet Kotegiri... POOR SWEET KOTEGIRI WHO'S THE ONLY OTHER GOU IN THE HORNY CORNER WITH HIM...]
I still want more.
[There's a little fleck of apology, for being so greedy. Just a fucking fleck.]
no subject
underneath matsui's palm, he'll feel the brisk pace at which buzen's own heart is racing - fast, quick, just how he likes it. the excitement and adoration that he's been taking on from matsui's feelings, and how happy he is to get swept in its tide. his thumb traces small shapes against matsui's skin, happy just to get a chance to touch him and enjoy his reactions. it's satisfying, to know how he can affect matsui too.
it's even better still, to hear him admit it. buzen's mouth curves into a smile and he gives matsui another kiss like a reward.]
Like I said - I'm already yours. You can have all of me if you want, Matsu. However you want.
[he really has no idea what he's saying but his feelings reflect his certainty: so confident in his affection.]
Are you going to make me keep guessing what you'd like? [another brief kiss - ] I don't mind if you do. But that's a lot for me to try.
[does matsui really want to put it in buzen's hands when buzen's goal is to just make him as absurdly happy and content as possible]
no subject
Beyond that, he considers his words and what he wants to say in return. What he wants in return, period. That's an easy enough conclusion for him to draw, at least; he wants Buzen close, close, close, so that his body can remember every piece of him in this time they've been afforded.
His hands are cold, but his blood feels too hot. His fingers are soft and careful as he eases them down from Buzen's chest to rest over his navel. The words rest weighted on the tip of his tongue like he's still trying to hold them back for a second, before he lets them tumble out.]
...I want to try loving you like a human.
[He already loves Buzen in every way he ever could, in all ways possible. But with this human body, he wants to experience the sort of closeness and connection that simply doesn't exist between two steel blades.
There is unfortunately no salvaging this. His back is to the altar, god can't shame him now.]
no subject
matsui's hands travel downward and buzen's slide up - both now sliding underneath the cloth of his shirt, finding a home at his waist as the fabric catches on his wrists. he hopes the warmth of his touch is enough. something reverent slips into his feelings - like now that the option is there, he realizes how eager he is to learn every inch of matsui. to feel him under his fingertips, to map out his pulse with his mouth. it's that thought that gets buzen to press a kiss to his neck, and then trail upward.]
Okay. Then let's try. Anything for you, Matsu.
[which is a promise he'll seal with a kiss, and then another, another still - until they can get lost only in sensation and each other.
GOODBYE I'M SORRY GODDDDD fades this shit to black]