[UNSURPRISING!!!! The day Buzen seems anxious about their situation on a whole is the day Matsui is like "well I guess we are all doomed".
His spirits don't seem entirely lifted, but he'll unfortunately never turn down a Buzen kissy... He leans up, chasing after Buzen, and kisses him in a very soft, gentle and sweet way before nodding.]
...Alright. Together.
[Thinking about how many ways trial could go horribly wrong tomorrow and the hilarious possibility of scapegoating with four bodies.]
[FUCKING HELP please id love to see even a 2 way tie we haven't had one in so long :amen: summoning circle for it now
Matsui, not knowing the evils being summoned behind his back, just lets Buzen give him another kissy because what's he gonna do? Not accept a Buzen kiss?? Preposterous. He shakes his head, the gesture barely there. This is partially because Matsui also doesn't think he knew anyone very well before dying, considering he had only know them for three weeks and two of those three were spent in various forms of shrieking.]
I only spoke to Zelda and Fukuzawa once. Shen Qingqiu and Fei Du, I spoke to several times, but... most of those conversations...
[He doesn't want to TALK ABOUT IT SO ANYWAY:] --What about you?
Ze-san not as much... but I like Fuku-sensei and Shizun-san a lot. Ah, that's what Shen-san wanted me to call him... Fuku-sensei was pretty receptive to naming his sword when I brought it up, and that meant a lot to me. He's a strong swordsman, with noble ideals. [and he still thinks this even with the doxx on tuesday....]
Fei Du... We've talked a few times - but I don't know if I'm good with people like him...? [a beat] I still don't know how I feel about Sweet Theory... I don't hate them... but it's hard to forgive them, knowing how they tried to hide the truth from you and Rang.
[and it's not that buzen doesn't understand, because he does. he meant it when he said he didn't expect anyone to act like him and matsui during d's trial. but.
it's different on a personal level, when it was matsui and rang that could've been wronged.]
I will try to speak with them a little more, then...
[Fukuzawa and Shen Qingqiu. Zelda too, once she gets here - since she made one single remark about a sword once that touched his little sweart (sword heart).
There's something a little thin and brittle in his expression at the talk of Sweet Theory and Fei Du, though. Of the team members, he hardly talked to two and Libby will forever be on his shitlist. He had chosen to believe what Fei Du said out of desperate desire to hold onto anything at all that could keep him from slipping into an even worse state, but a clearer mind has shown him that he still has things to be angry about.]
I understand. [He doesn't hate them, either, but phew.] Even if it is simply "playing the game", things are always harder to handle when they sit closer.
[and buzen is excited to talk to more of them too, even if he wishes that this wasn't the way they'd have to reunite. tough stuff. but in the end, it seems like the game is ramping up, for better or worse... and he wonders what the reason behind it is. that's the difficult things they can't get to know on this side.
but when matsui says that he understands, buzen relaxes a little. he's not the type to hold grudges. most things that happen to him roll off easily but... things that happen to matsui stick worse, and rang has been promoted to gou level so he's someone buzen wants to defend too. it's a relief, to know that his heart isn't broken, for not being able to find forgiveness.]
Yeah... Even if it's for the rules of the game, I don't think I could ever accept someone hurting you - or anyone else on our team, even if we don't have to be a team anymore.
[Tough stuff! Matsui had always anticipated things going this way because he is an inherently pessimistic person who maps out humanity based on the worst of it, but he still dislikes seeing how things are proceeding.
He catches Buzen's mouth in a kiss before he can pull away, but falls into a bit of a silence after that, contemplating-- too many things at once, really. His mind is always moving in a tumble.]
Yes. Things often are.
[LIFE!!! HAVING A HEART!! Hearts make everything complicated by default!! He hates it here so bad.]
But I think... the only thing we can do with the complexities is decide how to proceed in a way that will give us burdens we can bear to take on.
[This is such a dire but not incorrect way to phrase it.]
[buzen returns the kiss automatically, like it would be just an egregious offense if he didn't. though he smiles a little bit even at matsui's wording, because in the end he finds himself agreeing]
Guess so.
Well... it's easy enough to be polite to everybody. [he isn't gonna be in like, a rush exactly, to talk to sweet theory but he will talk to them] In the end, we all still have to work together...
[IT'S EASY ENOUGH TO BE POLITE TO EVERYBODY, SAYS BUZEN, WHILE MATSUI JUST BRIEFLY STARES BLEAKLY INTO THE MIDDLE DISTANCE it's fine... He's doing well at avoiding who he needs to, if nothing else...]
If it's for the sake of the greater mission, then they will have to be.
[If anyone can't set aside their differences enough to work together, or at the very least be cordial or simply brusquely ignore the people they must and proceed in any way they can regardless, he will personally hit them with a brick. That's what his energy is saying in this moment.]
[Even for Matsui, forty is a lot of lives to be responsible for, but that's because he's insane and holds on to every single lost life for hundreds and hundreds of years. He knows no one here - or at least, he hopes no one here - would be willing to jeopardize that.
[matsui truly goes on all these missions where they have to carry the weight of that entire timeline and the future of humanity, and he still shakes holding forty lives.
buzen probably would too, if paraiso didn't fuck him up in the opposite way - where he is so accustomed to death now, as a sad but inevitable thing.
but he'll just kiss by matsui's eye, then his cheek, then his jaw about it.]
[HE REALLY DOES. Matsui finds death sad and inevitable but in a way that still crushes him every time, where Buzen has developed an unpleasant and unfortunate acceptance, and they are both so damaged but at least they can be damaged together. Wild.
He closes his eyes for a moment, reveling in the gentleness of Buzen's touch.]
I know that we'll try.
[His attempt at not being quite as pessimistic...]
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His spirits don't seem entirely lifted, but he'll unfortunately never turn down a Buzen kissy... He leans up, chasing after Buzen, and kisses him in a very soft, gentle and sweet way before nodding.]
...Alright. Together.
[Thinking about how many ways trial could go horribly wrong tomorrow and the hilarious possibility of scapegoating with four bodies.]
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but buzen will just lean up to press his mouth to matsui's forehead now, giving him all the kisses he could want]
... did you know any of them well? The four we're gonna see soon.
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Matsui, not knowing the evils being summoned behind his back, just lets Buzen give him another kissy because what's he gonna do? Not accept a Buzen kiss?? Preposterous. He shakes his head, the gesture barely there. This is partially because Matsui also doesn't think he knew anyone very well before dying, considering he had only know them for three weeks and two of those three were spent in various forms of shrieking.]
I only spoke to Zelda and Fukuzawa once. Shen Qingqiu and Fei Du, I spoke to several times, but... most of those conversations...
[He doesn't want to TALK ABOUT IT SO ANYWAY:] --What about you?
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Ze-san not as much... but I like Fuku-sensei and Shizun-san a lot. Ah, that's what Shen-san wanted me to call him... Fuku-sensei was pretty receptive to naming his sword when I brought it up, and that meant a lot to me. He's a strong swordsman, with noble ideals. [and he still thinks this even with the doxx on tuesday....]
Fei Du... We've talked a few times - but I don't know if I'm good with people like him...? [a beat] I still don't know how I feel about Sweet Theory... I don't hate them... but it's hard to forgive them, knowing how they tried to hide the truth from you and Rang.
[and it's not that buzen doesn't understand, because he does. he meant it when he said he didn't expect anyone to act like him and matsui during d's trial. but.
it's different on a personal level, when it was matsui and rang that could've been wronged.]
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[Fukuzawa and Shen Qingqiu. Zelda too, once she gets here - since she made one single remark about a sword once that touched his little sweart (sword heart).
There's something a little thin and brittle in his expression at the talk of Sweet Theory and Fei Du, though. Of the team members, he hardly talked to two and Libby will forever be on his shitlist. He had chosen to believe what Fei Du said out of desperate desire to hold onto anything at all that could keep him from slipping into an even worse state, but a clearer mind has shown him that he still has things to be angry about.]
I understand. [He doesn't hate them, either, but phew.] Even if it is simply "playing the game", things are always harder to handle when they sit closer.
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[and buzen is excited to talk to more of them too, even if he wishes that this wasn't the way they'd have to reunite. tough stuff. but in the end, it seems like the game is ramping up, for better or worse... and he wonders what the reason behind it is. that's the difficult things they can't get to know on this side.
but when matsui says that he understands, buzen relaxes a little. he's not the type to hold grudges. most things that happen to him roll off easily but... things that happen to matsui stick worse, and rang has been promoted to gou level so he's someone buzen wants to defend too. it's a relief, to know that his heart isn't broken, for not being able to find forgiveness.]
Yeah... Even if it's for the rules of the game, I don't think I could ever accept someone hurting you - or anyone else on our team, even if we don't have to be a team anymore.
[he presses a kiss to matsui's cheek then]
It's really pretty complicated, huh...
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He catches Buzen's mouth in a kiss before he can pull away, but falls into a bit of a silence after that, contemplating-- too many things at once, really. His mind is always moving in a tumble.]
Yes. Things often are.
[LIFE!!! HAVING A HEART!! Hearts make everything complicated by default!! He hates it here so bad.]
But I think... the only thing we can do with the complexities is decide how to proceed in a way that will give us burdens we can bear to take on.
[This is such a dire but not incorrect way to phrase it.]
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Guess so.
Well... it's easy enough to be polite to everybody. [he isn't gonna be in like, a rush exactly, to talk to sweet theory but he will talk to them] In the end, we all still have to work together...
Hopefully they're all alright with that.
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If it's for the sake of the greater mission, then they will have to be.
[If anyone can't set aside their differences enough to work together, or at the very least be cordial or simply brusquely ignore the people they must and proceed in any way they can regardless, he will personally hit them with a brick. That's what his energy is saying in this moment.]
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buzen just laughs quietly at that and will kiss matsui's cheek again to try to ease some of that energy...]
... I think they get it. I don't think anyone wants to be responsible for putting this many people at jeopardy.
[for humans, forty is a lot of lives to be responsible for. pushes paraiso numbers away]
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His head thunks gently against Buzen's shoulder.]
...Mm. You're likely right.
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buzen probably would too, if paraiso didn't fuck him up in the opposite way - where he is so accustomed to death now, as a sad but inevitable thing.
but he'll just kiss by matsui's eye, then his cheek, then his jaw about it.]
... we'll figure something out, Matsu.
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He closes his eyes for a moment, reveling in the gentleness of Buzen's touch.]
I know that we'll try.
[His attempt at not being quite as pessimistic...]