The pig doesn't exactly give kind memories to exchange.
[silly lil pig noise]
I'm still sorry that you went through that. That you felt that way, and got pushed to that... Even if there are parts I don't understand, the emotions came through well enough.
That was... it was more or less the entire point of the facility. Pushing us to a breaking point. Making us come apart, so we could be put back together.
I don't know how many times it happened before he figured out how to actually do that.
[but he's certain there were a number of loops where they just never got out of that state.]
It's what came before the Library. We broke that cycle, eventually. Finished the experiment it was made for. But it got interrupted, at the very end, and we couldn't...
[we just couldn't defeat her. we still didn't have a choice.
regret slips into his emotions, there, inadequacy, though there's still determination along with it.]
We have to work with the one who created the Library, for now, to finish it for real.
I do want to exist for more. Once we finish that work-- I want to get to live for myself. It might even still be possible. But until then-
We started it in the first place because we wanted to help change the world. To make it better, and restore the light to it that it's lost. I can't just abandon everything now.
[not after everything he's already done. not when-
it was carmen's life's work.
they did it all because they believed in her vision. he still believes in it, despite what their work has become.]
[what can he do but agree in the face of such acceptance? buzen isn't the type of person who'd ever try to change somebody - that's at his core. taking in people for all they are, and still finding a way to adore them.]
Then I hope you succeed, Netz-san. I hope that all of you can find a way to make that world better, one way or another.
If it's something that important to you, then I'm sure that you'll find a way to succeed.
... just having met you helps, you know? I knew before ending up here that I wanted to live, but not exactly what I wanted out of it. I haven't really been part of the world in... a long time.
But being around people like you has been-- it makes it easier to figure things out. To know what to hope for.
[there's definite fondness, in the emotions that bleed through. warmth. maybe something a little like longing, especially knowing this will all probably come to an end soon.]
[buzen's smile is slow, but it's sincere. it's a little uncertain at the edges, but the core of is strong. his emotions resonate similarly. even if he doesn't think that he personally makes a difference, he is nonetheless happy.]
I'm happy to have been a part of your life, Netz-san. If these moments could give you something to hope for, something to make the rough journey of it easier then... I'm glad.
I feel similarly. It's for moments like these, the people that I get to meet, the ones waiting for me... that make it feel like I'm allowed to exist.
So I do treasure these moments. I'm glad you do, too.
Ah... I'm sorry we ended up leaving so soon. [but he feels like they've already talked about it, and buzen thinks it's wild how every single week his erasure keeps getting brought up]
You don't have anything to apologize for, man. I know you didn't. I just mean...
[this is why i don't have one of the writing focused floors of the library. it takes him a second to figure out the words.]
I didn't really realize until after then just how much that meant. I'm sure I said it was a relief to be able to talk to you about things others don't really get, but...
[he's not sure he really had the time to say enough. they were still important to him, he means.]
[it's not something buzen immediately relates to - not when swords and gous are pretty much the main people he interacts with, but he can guess how much it means for netzach. to have a little glimmer of a normal life alongside those who understand, without having to worry about the details or the gaps.]
... well, we're here now, right?
[in the end, buzen is a simpleton]
For however much time we get - I'd like to not leave any more of those regrets behind. Now that we've gotten to know what it looks like without... I'm more grateful to be able to get more time with you at all.
I'm not a person who really expects to see people again - especially if they're friends.
[the only new people he'd met before coming here were ones he had to fight. to kill. there's no making friends in that situation, really, but he definitely doesn't expect to see any of those people again.]
While we're here-- I want to make the best of the time we have left, whether we end up getting more of it or not.
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The pig doesn't exactly give kind memories to exchange.
[silly lil pig noise]
I'm still sorry that you went through that. That you felt that way, and got pushed to that... Even if there are parts I don't understand, the emotions came through well enough.
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I don't know how many times it happened before he figured out how to actually do that.
[but he's certain there were a number of loops where they just never got out of that state.]
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And you want to go back to that?
[based on the conversation that happened earlier - for monika to be invited to that too. he looks... baffled, to say the least.]
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[we just couldn't defeat her. we still didn't have a choice.
regret slips into his emotions, there, inadequacy, though there's still determination along with it.]
We have to work with the one who created the Library, for now, to finish it for real.
[that's what he needs to go back to.]
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... got it. Okay. Not that the Library sounds great either...
[based on what they've talked about before]
Still.
Existing for that reason... That's not right.
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We started it in the first place because we wanted to help change the world. To make it better, and restore the light to it that it's lost. I can't just abandon everything now.
[not after everything he's already done. not when-
it was carmen's life's work.
they did it all because they believed in her vision. he still believes in it, despite what their work has become.]
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[what can he do but agree in the face of such acceptance? buzen isn't the type of person who'd ever try to change somebody - that's at his core. taking in people for all they are, and still finding a way to adore them.]
Then I hope you succeed, Netz-san. I hope that all of you can find a way to make that world better, one way or another.
If it's something that important to you, then I'm sure that you'll find a way to succeed.
[i wish i could help]
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But being around people like you has been-- it makes it easier to figure things out. To know what to hope for.
[there's definite fondness, in the emotions that bleed through. warmth. maybe something a little like longing, especially knowing this will all probably come to an end soon.]
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I'm happy to have been a part of your life, Netz-san. If these moments could give you something to hope for, something to make the rough journey of it easier then... I'm glad.
I feel similarly. It's for moments like these, the people that I get to meet, the ones waiting for me... that make it feel like I'm allowed to exist.
So I do treasure these moments. I'm glad you do, too.
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...I wanted to talk to you guys pretty often, when you were gone.
[kept finding himself thinking he wished that he could. that they were still there.]
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Neither of us meant to leave you...
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[this is why i don't have one of the writing focused floors of the library. it takes him a second to figure out the words.]
I didn't really realize until after then just how much that meant. I'm sure I said it was a relief to be able to talk to you about things others don't really get, but...
[he's not sure he really had the time to say enough. they were still important to him, he means.]
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[it's not something buzen immediately relates to - not when swords and gous are pretty much the main people he interacts with, but he can guess how much it means for netzach. to have a little glimmer of a normal life alongside those who understand, without having to worry about the details or the gaps.]
... well, we're here now, right?
[in the end, buzen is a simpleton]
For however much time we get - I'd like to not leave any more of those regrets behind. Now that we've gotten to know what it looks like without... I'm more grateful to be able to get more time with you at all.
I'm not a person who really expects to see people again - especially if they're friends.
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[the only new people he'd met before coming here were ones he had to fight. to kill. there's no making friends in that situation, really, but he definitely doesn't expect to see any of those people again.]
While we're here-- I want to make the best of the time we have left, whether we end up getting more of it or not.
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[easily agreeable, and also grinning]
What do you want to do then, Netz-san?
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[he already knows his own are the bar and art store]
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You want me to drive you around? I have a car now!
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Lucky, right?