That's how it feels, anyway. Even such a comparatively small gesture like a gentle, careful kiss (and fucking BITE, RANG!!!!! YOU BITCH BUT ALSO THANKS) is enough to overwhelm him with his own feelings of adoration and affection and love for Buzen. He's feeling so tenderhearted in this moment that it does something that not even Catholicism itself can do: it lets him shove his M tendencies to the backburner and not ask for a harder bite that draws blood. Incredible...]
Buzen...
[His mouth is still so close that he can feel their lips brush together when he speaks. He may be able to shove away his M tendencies, but he can't shove away his Buzen greed, which has truly just worsened so phenomenally over the span of just a couple of weeks.
Meaning after a second of hesitation, he takes the initiative to lean forward a little so he can give Buzen a lil kissy in return. He doesn't bite, because he doesn't trust himself to not become transparent Matsui on the calm down square.]
[NOT THE TRANSPARENT MATSUI ON THE CALM DOWN SQUARE
also
“a couple of weeks” it has been exactly one week and a half, it has not even been two full weeks stop extending time to justify matsui’s buzen greed.
not that buzen thinks that it’s something that needs to be justified! okay! he’s a little surprised by the kissy in return, but he will take it as a good sign? the way that he doesn’t even realize kisses are necessarily romantic, it just seems like something matsui likes. so he will happily give it to him, leaning in and kissing back.
he won’t even bite this time! because matsui did not bite. wow monkey see monkey do. though his hand does move from where it was tucked behind matsui’s ear to just cradle the back of his head so buzen can keep him in place for another kissy, a little firmer now because he thinks that’s the right thing to do? he’s still guessing.
but he also thinks it’s fine to try to figure it out, and matsui will learn with him as they try something new.]
[STOP I EXTEND TIME TO JUSTIFY MATSUI'S BUZEN GREED OTHERWISE IT'S JUST TOO SAD. HE IS SO FUCKING BAD AT NOT BEING BUZEN GREEDY. RIP Kotegiri wherever you are in the void, you're being forgotten by Matsui...
Truly in this moment he's only thinking about Buzen, which is only a slight deviation from what's usual for him, so it's fine, probably. A kiss isn't even a necessarily romantic gesture to him, either, but it's a display of closeness and connection and some type of love that he's greatly enjoying. IN THE HOUSE OF GOD.
He isn't fussy about learning this together with Buzen, in any case, because why would he be? He isn't as adventurous when left to his own devices, but he loves Buzen so much that he'd accompany him anywhere, spend all the time in the world with him doing whatever he'd want. He tilts his head a little, trying to find a comfortable angle that lets him stay close. His hands move, touching Buzen's shoulders in a featherlight, almost uncertain way before looping over them to hold him close.
His resolve also lasts .2 seconds and he allows himself a very small bite, as a treat. In the house of god.]
the way buzen's brain is working so hard in all of this to try to figure out how to make matsui happy. kissing? ok that seems to be good. biting? also solid. closeness? sure! it's impressive that he lasts this long in his little measured, careful little steps because he's so conscientious of matsui at all times.
but then he gets bitten back! and there is, unfortunately, still a fight or fight response when it comes to buzen. it's not quite the same level that makes him tackle matsui right back on instinct, but he truly would've bitten rang in return if the other hadn't just walked away.
matsui though? matsui's still here. so buzen will just make a soft noise - somewhere between surprised and curious - before he presses their mouths together again harder, and then bites matsui back. also harder. in the same moment that his arm loops around matsui's waist to encourage him closer still. will matsui end up going on buzen's lap in the house of god.
buzen went so slow for so long and then now he's like ???? fast???? 0 to 100???/]
[TH. FUCKIN G HELP. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. MATSUI IS ABSOLUTELY GOING TO END UP ON BUZEN'S LAP IN THE HOUSE OF GOD!!!! What's he supposed to do, not move closer when he's being pulled in?? IMPOSSIBLE. So he's just going to climb on up and make himself comfortable instead, as his PAPERTHIN CATHOLICISM STEADILY LOSES IN THIS WAR. It is by the thinnest strand of self control that he doesn't demand Buzen bite him until he bleeds on the spot. THE THINNEST STRAND. Unfortunately, his dokis about being bitten harder are still obvious in his fast pulse and the little sound of delight he makes. Terrible.
But because Buzen isn't dealing with his M, he'll have to deal with his S instead, in that Matsui very gently pulls Buzen's lower lip between his teeth after he's done biting and bites it in return with a sharp cuspid. It may be hard enough to draw a little blood.]
[i also don't trust buzen to calm matsui down in this thread so im intervening with the hand of god, i.e. A THIRD NOSEBLEED STRIKES at around the same time. SO NOW THERE'S DOUBLE THE POTENTIAL BLOOD and Matsui's making a startled sound instead, leaning away on reflex so he doesn't drip on Buzen.]
because now buzen has been bit hard enough to trigger some of his own sharp tendencies, because he really is a rough-housing sword at the end of the day. he hisses with the bite and growls out matsui's name in the same second that his fingers dig into his hips -
and then he's pulling away because there's EVEN MORE BLOOD, HELP. buzen licks at his own lip before he goes to reach over and offer his red banner which he probably just threw in the wash yesterday...... another load of laundry to be done today apparently
a little huff as he catches his breath]
... you don't ask but it doesn't really stop you from going for what you want, huh...
Matsui will take it and delicately press it beneath his nose, even though he has the audacity to look a little flushed and flustered like he isn't the one who bit to draw blood FIRST. LIKE THIS ISN'T HIS FAULT. MATSUI!!!! He glances away, in the direction that is not toward the front of the church with all the angelic statues and mother peter murals that are judging his sinful soul.]
Your blood was so close... I wanted it to be closer. [TERRIBLE but he'll glance back toward his favorite sword in the world, reaching out with his free hand to gently touch Buzen's lip.] Did it hurt...? The sound you made wasn't bad. I wouldn't mind hearing it again.
[NO!!!!!!!! STOP HIM!!!!! PUT THE S BACK!!!!! GOD IS WATCHING!!!!!]
but buzen supposes that he's not mad about any of what just happened, given that matsui now seems to be utterly distracted from his prior depression. when his lip is touched, buzen will simply open his mouth a bit more so that he can chomp lightly on the inquiring finger. he doesn't know what he's doing and at the same time seems to be too much of a natural for this.]
I'm pretty sure I owe you a bite? The score feels a little uneven, Matsu...
[BUZEN'S THE ONLY ONE WHO BLED
i think about how buzen was also catholic for like a second and he's utterly uncaring of the fact that they're in the goddamn cathedral for this]
[He is so distracted from his prior depression it's literally hilarious. He really said WHAT ISSUES, I SEE NOTHING.
He will unfortunately allow his finger to be lightly bitten with too much glee about it and then his .2 mm thin thread of resolve to not ask Buzen to bite him harder immediately snaps in two.]
You can bite me until I bleed, too. As hard as you would like.
[He's really that chanting TOP ME meme but with BITE ME instead, and specifically biting until blood is drawn because he really said being S in front of Jesus' salad isn't enough, he must also be M.]
[buzen has to comment on how weird this is. he has to. but also he's the one who said that he wants to get even, and lowkey, he kind of does? when the competitiveness starts to win out... he sighs and will just move to take that hand he just bit and interlace their fingers together. handholding in the house of god.]
[LISTEN. DON'T LOOK AT HIM. Not even Buzen commenting on his eagerness is enough to stop him now. He'll give Buzen's hand a gentle squeeze as god watches on.]
Anywhere you'd like. A place more prone to bleeding, maybe.
[He'll truly give this win to Buzen's competitive nature but actually it's a trojan horse win for himself.]
[matsui talks about blood all the time but buzen is like the place you bleed from the most is your nose and i don't want to bite that.]
Where I can hear your pulse is where the blood is, right? [RIGHT? so he's just going to duck his head again and nose against matsui's neck, right by his pulse point] Here?
[bitch is gonna get a hickey thank god he covers up like a victorian maiden]
[FUCKING HELP BUZEN JUST BITING HIS NOSE WHICH HE'S STILL HOLDING THE BANNER TO.
It really is good that he covers up like a Victorian maiden, though. Buzen may have to move the chain that's hidden under his shirt, but it's fine, he will allow this for a bitey. He doesn't have a free hand to raise if their fingers are still interlocked, so he just gently bumps his head against the side of Buzen's before tilting it to the opposite side to give him access.]
but! sure! okay! buzen is careful with the chain because even though he doesn't really get it, he knows how matsui is. but otherwise he's been given his direction and even though buzen is not inherently a bitey lover, he is very service-oriented. including biting at request. i guess.
he kisses the spot first though. gay. and then he'll do as requested, biting over matsui's pulse until he feels that light taste of iron. even though he also doesn't want matsui to bleed on his shirt or anything so he'll also just run his tongue over the spot, leaving his mouth there. does healing heal hickies? questions we have to ask before trial if we do stripcheck.
anyway hope matsui's maso tendencies are satisfied with this IN THE CATHEDRAAAAAL]
[NO ONE STRIP MATSUI SO I DON'T HAVE TO DIVULGE MY CATHEDRAL CRIMES. at least they didn't bang even though i have a strong suspicion it's due in large part to the fact that i cursed matsui with a nosebleed.
That said, his maso tendencies are satisfied... FOR NOW. This has awoken something in him. Every thread is going to have the potential to become a nightmare now, but that's a problem for later. In the meantime, he rests his cheek against the side of Buzen's head, sighing in satisfaction. Some of the sensations are strange, some familiar, all pleasant. Unfortunately, he could always do with losing more blood, but he's happy enough with this.]
[DOES MATSUI KNOW HOW TO BANG? WOULD THEY HAVE BANGED? WOULD MATSUI HAVE GUIDED THEM THROUGH THE ACTION OF BANGING IN GOD'S HOUSE?
but
help
buzen is still a bit confused even though the overwhelming feeling for him is fond. he still doesn't know what to do with all these very human-seeming things they did, but at least matsui is happy... he'll pull back so that he can gather matsui into his arms for an embrace and also follow the impulse of kissing his cheek since he seemed to also enjoy the soft affection too??????]
[DONT MAKE ME THINK ABOUT THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS
Buzen really just is out here doing too much for Matsui though honestly, he should have just let him continue to suffer in the cathedral in silence. NOW MATSUI IS HAPPY BUT AT WHAT COST.]
...Mm. I am. [The ills that plagued him just minutes ago really do feel like a thousand miles away, which is hilarious considering he'd been worked up enough to suplex Buzen and then literally flee. His nosebleed has stopped, so he'll let go of Buzen's stupid arm banner so he can brush his fingers through Buzen's hair. They're not bloody it's fine.]
[YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID THEY ALMOST BANGED IN THE CATHEDRAL I NEED TO KNOW HOW THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED
but um buzen doesn't think there's any cost in this? happy matsui is worth everything that comes with it. so instead he'll just keep him close and hum happily]
[JUST A THOUGHTFUL HUM. He isn't sure how to feel about Buzen learning a lot in this context. A lot about human things like kissing, he hopes, and not a lot about Matsui and his preferences.
He will simply cuddle into Buzen and not think about the matter.]
[this is so funny. buzen is just outright laughing at that and matsui's suspicious little hum!! he's snickering a little bit even as he just cuddles back, burying his face in matsui's hair to hide his grin for a second]
Anything else you want from me that you haven't bothered to ask for?
[matsui was! so happy! to kiss and bite and be close! and buzen is like we have had these bodies for three years and you never said anything!!!!]
[DON'T JUST LAUGH ABOUT IT. If he weren't so comfortable he'd maybe elbow Buzen a little but no, he'll play nice...]
Anything else? [HELLO!! He just shakes his head, which is really just shaking it into whatever part of Buzen he's currently leaning into.] This is more than enough.
[NOOOOOOO HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE SEEN LIKE THIS!! This is a downside actually damn, how is he supposed to proceed like things are fine when Buzen has figured out that he DOESN'T ASK FOR WHAT HE WANTS. NO!!!! HE'S MADE A FATAL FLAW IN CALCULATIONS (he didn't calculate anything that just happened) A FATAL FLAW--]
No... [He can only lie brazenly to Buzen's face under certain circumstances, though, so he just ducks his head a little after that and reaches up to tug on Buzen's hair.] I'm satisfied.
[the little denial pulls a laugh out of buzen then, and he'll let his arms loop around matsui a little tighter. he'll lean in to nuzzle against matsui's cheek.]
Maybe... but I want you to be more than satisfied, Matsu.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
That's how it feels, anyway. Even such a comparatively small gesture like a gentle, careful kiss (and fucking BITE, RANG!!!!! YOU BITCH BUT ALSO THANKS) is enough to overwhelm him with his own feelings of adoration and affection and love for Buzen. He's feeling so tenderhearted in this moment that it does something that not even Catholicism itself can do: it lets him shove his M tendencies to the backburner and not ask for a harder bite that draws blood. Incredible...]
Buzen...
[His mouth is still so close that he can feel their lips brush together when he speaks. He may be able to shove away his M tendencies, but he can't shove away his Buzen greed, which has truly just worsened so phenomenally over the span of just a couple of weeks.
Meaning after a second of hesitation, he takes the initiative to lean forward a little so he can give Buzen a lil kissy in return. He doesn't bite, because he doesn't trust himself to not become transparent Matsui on the calm down square.]
no subject
also
“a couple of weeks” it has been exactly one week and a half, it has not even been two full weeks stop extending time to justify matsui’s buzen greed.
not that buzen thinks that it’s something that needs to be justified! okay! he’s a little surprised by the kissy in return, but he will take it as a good sign? the way that he doesn’t even realize kisses are necessarily romantic, it just seems like something matsui likes. so he will happily give it to him, leaning in and kissing back.
he won’t even bite this time! because matsui did not bite. wow monkey see monkey do. though his hand does move from where it was tucked behind matsui’s ear to just cradle the back of his head so buzen can keep him in place for another kissy, a little firmer now because he thinks that’s the right thing to do? he’s still guessing.
but he also thinks it’s fine to try to figure it out, and matsui will learn with him as they try something new.]
no subject
Truly in this moment he's only thinking about Buzen, which is only a slight deviation from what's usual for him, so it's fine, probably. A kiss isn't even a necessarily romantic gesture to him, either, but it's a display of closeness and connection and some type of love that he's greatly enjoying. IN THE HOUSE OF GOD.
He isn't fussy about learning this together with Buzen, in any case, because why would he be? He isn't as adventurous when left to his own devices, but he loves Buzen so much that he'd accompany him anywhere, spend all the time in the world with him doing whatever he'd want. He tilts his head a little, trying to find a comfortable angle that lets him stay close. His hands move, touching Buzen's shoulders in a featherlight, almost uncertain way before looping over them to hold him close.
His resolve also lasts .2 seconds and he allows himself a very small bite, as a treat. In the house of god.]
no subject
the way buzen's brain is working so hard in all of this to try to figure out how to make matsui happy. kissing? ok that seems to be good. biting? also solid. closeness? sure! it's impressive that he lasts this long in his little measured, careful little steps because he's so conscientious of matsui at all times.
but then he gets bitten back! and there is, unfortunately, still a fight or fight response when it comes to buzen. it's not quite the same level that makes him tackle matsui right back on instinct, but he truly would've bitten rang in return if the other hadn't just walked away.
matsui though? matsui's still here. so buzen will just make a soft noise - somewhere between surprised and curious - before he presses their mouths together again harder, and then bites matsui back. also harder. in the same moment that his arm loops around matsui's waist to encourage him closer still. will matsui end up going on buzen's lap in the house of god.
buzen went so slow for so long and then now he's like ???? fast???? 0 to 100???/]
1/2,
But because Buzen isn't dealing with his M, he'll have to deal with his S instead, in that Matsui very gently pulls Buzen's lower lip between his teeth after he's done biting and bites it in return with a sharp cuspid. It may be hard enough to draw a little blood.]
no subject
Ah—!
no subject
because now buzen has been bit hard enough to trigger some of his own sharp tendencies, because he really is a rough-housing sword at the end of the day. he hisses with the bite and growls out matsui's name in the same second that his fingers dig into his hips -
and then he's pulling away because there's EVEN MORE BLOOD, HELP. buzen licks at his own lip before he goes to reach over and offer his red banner which he probably just threw in the wash yesterday...... another load of laundry to be done today apparently
a little huff as he catches his breath]
... you don't ask but it doesn't really stop you from going for what you want, huh...
[DON'T SAY IT DON'T SAY IT]
no subject
Matsui will take it and delicately press it beneath his nose, even though he has the audacity to look a little flushed and flustered like he isn't the one who bit to draw blood FIRST. LIKE THIS ISN'T HIS FAULT. MATSUI!!!! He glances away, in the direction that is not toward the front of the church with all the angelic statues and mother peter murals that are judging his sinful soul.]
Your blood was so close... I wanted it to be closer. [TERRIBLE but he'll glance back toward his favorite sword in the world, reaching out with his free hand to gently touch Buzen's lip.] Did it hurt...? The sound you made wasn't bad. I wouldn't mind hearing it again.
[NO!!!!!!!! STOP HIM!!!!! PUT THE S BACK!!!!! GOD IS WATCHING!!!!!]
no subject
but buzen supposes that he's not mad about any of what just happened, given that matsui now seems to be utterly distracted from his prior depression. when his lip is touched, buzen will simply open his mouth a bit more so that he can chomp lightly on the inquiring finger. he doesn't know what he's doing and at the same time seems to be too much of a natural for this.]
I'm pretty sure I owe you a bite? The score feels a little uneven, Matsu...
[BUZEN'S THE ONLY ONE WHO BLED
i think about how buzen was also catholic for like a second and he's utterly uncaring of the fact that they're in the goddamn cathedral for this]
no subject
He will unfortunately allow his finger to be lightly bitten with too much glee about it and then his .2 mm thin thread of resolve to not ask Buzen to bite him harder immediately snaps in two.]
You can bite me until I bleed, too. As hard as you would like.
[He's really that chanting TOP ME meme but with BITE ME instead, and specifically biting until blood is drawn because he really said being S in front of Jesus' salad isn't enough, he must also be M.]
no subject
... you're really eager for this....
[buzen has to comment on how weird this is. he has to. but also he's the one who said that he wants to get even, and lowkey, he kind of does? when the competitiveness starts to win out... he sighs and will just move to take that hand he just bit and interlace their fingers together. handholding in the house of god.]
Where do you want me to bite you?
no subject
Anywhere you'd like. A place more prone to bleeding, maybe.
[He'll truly give this win to Buzen's competitive nature but actually it's a trojan horse win for himself.]
no subject
[matsui talks about blood all the time but buzen is like the place you bleed from the most is your nose and i don't want to bite that.]
Where I can hear your pulse is where the blood is, right? [RIGHT? so he's just going to duck his head again and nose against matsui's neck, right by his pulse point] Here?
[bitch is gonna get a hickey thank god he covers up like a victorian maiden]
no subject
It really is good that he covers up like a Victorian maiden, though. Buzen may have to move the chain that's hidden under his shirt, but it's fine, he will allow this for a bitey. He doesn't have a free hand to raise if their fingers are still interlocked, so he just gently bumps his head against the side of Buzen's before tilting it to the opposite side to give him access.]
That's fine.
no subject
but! sure! okay! buzen is careful with the chain because even though he doesn't really get it, he knows how matsui is. but otherwise he's been given his direction and even though buzen is not inherently a bitey lover, he is very service-oriented. including biting at request. i guess.
he kisses the spot first though. gay. and then he'll do as requested, biting over matsui's pulse until he feels that light taste of iron. even though he also doesn't want matsui to bleed on his shirt or anything so he'll also just run his tongue over the spot, leaving his mouth there. does healing heal hickies? questions we have to ask before trial if we do stripcheck.
anyway hope matsui's maso tendencies are satisfied with this IN THE CATHEDRAAAAAL]
no subject
That said, his maso tendencies are satisfied... FOR NOW. This has awoken something in him. Every thread is going to have the potential to become a nightmare now, but that's a problem for later. In the meantime, he rests his cheek against the side of Buzen's head, sighing in satisfaction. Some of the sensations are strange, some familiar, all pleasant. Unfortunately, he could always do with losing more blood, but he's happy enough with this.]
Do you feel like it's even now?
no subject
but
help
buzen is still a bit confused even though the overwhelming feeling for him is fond. he still doesn't know what to do with all these very human-seeming things they did, but at least matsui is happy... he'll pull back so that he can gather matsui into his arms for an embrace and also follow the impulse of kissing his cheek since he seemed to also enjoy the soft affection too??????]
I feel like... you're happy.
So I think that's more than good enough for me.
no subject
Buzen really just is out here doing too much for Matsui though honestly, he should have just let him continue to suffer in the cathedral in silence. NOW MATSUI IS HAPPY BUT AT WHAT COST.]
...Mm. I am. [The ills that plagued him just minutes ago really do feel like a thousand miles away, which is hilarious considering he'd been worked up enough to suplex Buzen and then literally flee. His nosebleed has stopped, so he'll let go of Buzen's stupid arm banner so he can brush his fingers through Buzen's hair. They're not bloody it's fine.]
Are you?
no subject
but um buzen doesn't think there's any cost in this? happy matsui is worth everything that comes with it. so instead he'll just keep him close and hum happily]
I am.
[easily
also,]
Learned a lot.
[help]
no subject
Hm...
[JUST A THOUGHTFUL HUM. He isn't sure how to feel about Buzen learning a lot in this context. A lot about human things like kissing, he hopes, and not a lot about Matsui and his preferences.
He will simply cuddle into Buzen and not think about the matter.]
I am glad that you're happy, then.
[In this house of god.]
no subject
Anything else you want from me that you haven't bothered to ask for?
[matsui was! so happy! to kiss and bite and be close! and buzen is like we have had these bodies for three years and you never said anything!!!!]
no subject
Anything else? [HELLO!! He just shakes his head, which is really just shaking it into whatever part of Buzen he's currently leaning into.] This is more than enough.
[He can't let himself get even greedier...]
no subject
[teasing..... but he'll also just run his fingers through matsui's hair affectionately then.
the way buzen has learned that matsui just doesn't ask for what he wants!!]
no subject
No... [He can only lie brazenly to Buzen's face under certain circumstances, though, so he just ducks his head a little after that and reaches up to tug on Buzen's hair.] I'm satisfied.
no subject
Maybe... but I want you to be more than satisfied, Matsu.
I want to give you everything.
[whether he asks for it or not]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)